Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy holidays


The stockings are unstuffed, the presents are unwrapped and dinner is in the oven and the kids are happy. Our christmas morning has been a success.

Clyde and I would like to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas or if that's not you thing, I'll just say happy holidays!

Thank you for allowing us to share our lives with you.

Hope you all have a great day filled with family, laughter, lots of good food and of course, love.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Road head (#2)

He said he wanted me to suck his dick all the way home. Which was a 30 min drive across the lake and through the darkness. I was only too happy to do that for him. I reached over and started stroking his cock over his jeans. It began to grow and harden beneath my hand. My mouth watering in anticipation of putting him in my mouth.

I flip up the console that lies between us and lay down on my belly across the benchseat. With fumbling hanrd I undo the button and pull the zipper down. I reached in and felt the velvety softness of his cock. I pull down his pants just enough and begin a slow blowjob. I started with his balls. Licking and sucking each one in my mouth in turn. Slowly I worked my tongue around and up and down his shaft wetting, preparing it.

I sunk my mouth all the way to the base and held it there. He pumped a few times while holding me in place. Quickly I jerked me head away for some precious air. Down I went again. And again. Now that his dick was nice and wet, I started with my hand. Twisting and sucking, up and down my head bobs slowly.

The whole time he's talking dirty to me.
"Yeah, take that cock, yeah just like that. All the way down. Oh, that feels so good. Don't stop."

We stop at a red light and my head pops up to look around and make sure no ones looking.
I take the opportunity to change positions. I pull my knees up under my chest and curl into a ball next to him.

I look into his eyes and with a confident smile on face, I tell him, "your not going to last till we get to the house. I'm about to make you come.

His eyebrow arches and he says "Is that so? I'd like to see you try."

Challenge accepted.

I lean down and begin to rock. Back and forth. Up and down. All the while twisting my hand up and down his shaft. The perfect counterpart to my mouth.

"Oh yeah. That's going to do it." He says to me with a smile in his voice.

"Uh-huh" is say through a mouth full of cock. His hand goes to my hair and he guides my head while pumping my face.

I'm moaning and so turned on. I can feel my pantues getting wet.

I double my efforts as his body tenses and I know he's close. He grips my hair tightly and forces my head down and shoots his load, loudly down my throat. I thighten my lips around his cock to make sure I don't miss a drop. When I'm sure he's done, I pull my mouth away and swallow my reward.

We weren't even half way home.

"Its ok if I sit here and rub my pussy right?"

"Only if you pull your pants down so I can see."

I shimmy my pants down and put my feet up on the dashboard and start to rub.

"Do you want to feel how wet I am?"

He reaches over and runs his finger down my slit. I'm practically dripping, I'm so wet. He takes a deep breath of surprise when he feels for himself.

With one hand on the wheel and the other on my clit, he twiddles me to a lovely orgasm.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

A kinky surprise

You may remember a couple weeks ago I told you all about a mystery gift I had ordered from an adult website. I was promised 5 items at a bargain price. The catch was, I had no idea what I was ordering.

Well the package came in today and I am pretty happy with the contents. I mean, who doesn't love new toys?

First of all there is the bondage kit.  We have played with some light bondage so this was exciting for me as I have been wanting to play at it a little more. This kit included some heavy duty, fur lined cuffs (with a lock that I cannot get out of without the key that Clyde holds.) And a leather blindfold that always heightens the experience. It also has a suede flogger that was very much needed because ours was falling apart. All in all this kit was what I was most enthusiastic about.

I was also pretty excited to try the spanking spray. It is used to warm up a bottom before the spanking. I was quickly ordered by Clyde to "drop em" so we could give it a test run. He got a little spray happy with 4 squirts.  Word of warning, hold your breath as you use this. Imagine me being all sexy wiggling my bottom at him then coughing my head off as I felt I was being choked. It has a pepper spray affect. We had a good laugh about it and found it to be very effective at heating my bottom up and intensifying the spanking I received.

The other items included some cheap cock rings, a bullet vibe and Ben wa balls. The Ben was balls are fun but I already have a set very similar so they are up for grabs if anyone wants them, unused and unopened. ;-)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Milestones and spankings

Last weekend marked 20 years that Clyde and I have been together.

Luckily for us my sister had made plans to have our kids stay the weekend with her.

It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm.We traveled to a nearby town and spent the day together browsing through the antique stores that I love so much. We had a nice lunch and really enjoyed ourselves. That evening we had dinner and drinks out on the town. It really was a perfect day with a perfect ending...

We came home and I was immediately told to "drop em." I smiled as I let my pants slide down my legs and assumed the position over the side of the bed with my ass high in the air. He began the spanking with the paddle and gave me a nice warm up (which is new for him he usually just lays into me). I was in heaven, moaning and squirming with each strike. He stated spanking harder. I could hear his harsh breath coming from behind and knew it was having an affect on him. As he took a pause to rub the sting on my bottom, I felt his hardness press against my ass. Again, I smiled to myself and awaited what came next. He spanked even harder with the second round. Before long, I was near tears and my ass on fire when I heard the tell tale sign of his zipper coming down.

He took me from behind, pressing me further into the mattress with each thrust. He was fully on top of me grinding into me when he said

I'm going to fuck your ass. Do you want that?"

Yes, oh god yes!

Ask me for it.

Please Daddy, please fuck my ass.

I was so wet and turned on I would have begged him to fuck my ear or anything else he wanted at that point.

He rode my ass hard while he reached around to play with my clit. Grinding into me with a passion until we both came within moments of each other.

It was the perfect way to end a perfect day. I was in complete awe of him and what he can make me feel even after all these years.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Cheap spanking implements

We are kind of obsessed with finding new implements.

Ok. I am obsessed with finding new implements.

I prefer not to spend much on these items and often times a trip to the hardware store will result in me finding something I want to be spanked with.

Our newest implements have been a ping pong paddle and a wooden dowel. Both lovely in their own way. And cheap which really is the best way to go.

The paddle: it might just be my new favorite. It covers plenty of area with a good thud and it leaves a pattern if you have a rubber matted one with texture. It gives me something to admire afterward. I received my best spanking ever with this. He warmed me up nice and slow, then really laid into me. He started with otk and as I squirmed in his lap, he kept moving me into different positions to better restrain me. Before I knew it, I was upside own in his lap, hands on the floor. I rode him reverse cowgirl while he continued to paddle away. It was amazing. The paddle only cost about $4 and was totally with it.

The dowel: I really like this one. It is a 1/4 inch wooden dowel and very cane like. Its pretty flexible and delivers quite the sting when swung with even a little power. Its all in the flick of the wrist. We started off with just a few easy strokes across my stomach, just to test it out because I wasn't sure what to expect. He soon had me take off my bra and began tapping my nipples with it. As long as he didn't get too wild with it, it was so the oh so good kind of pain. That was just a test run. I'm hoping I can get more later tonight. This one was a bargain.  I only paid $1 and really got two implements since we had to cut it in half. Bonus!!

So there you have it. We've been having a lot of fun experimenting with different implements.

What are some of your favorite repurposed items?

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Sleetnado.... Day 2

After being in the house for nearly 2 days, cabin fever started to set in. We knew we had to get out and there was a lot of Christmas shopping to be done.

Many hours of shopping later, we returned home and had a few drinks. At almost midnight we were feeling pretty good and decided to go do some sledding. There is a tall bridge by our house that had been shut down because of the ice. We knew that was the place to go have some fun. We bundled up and headed out on foot carrying our makeshift "sled".

It wasn't long before we reached the bridge. I don't know if I've mentioned before but Clyde really is like a big kid. We had so much fun. It was dark and cold but it was just the two of us. At the top of the bridge we could see our sleeping, quiet little town with all the twinkly lights. It was a beautiful and romantic setting.

Clyde must have thought so too because as we laid down and took a moment to admire the stars his hands began to roam. He reached under my shirt, pinched my nipples and played with my tits. I was so wet by the time he started to undo my pants. He fucked me good on top of that tall bridge.

As I started to pull up my pants after, he stopped me. He grabbed one end of my belt and yanked it loose. With the belt in hand he warmed by ass up. I didn't hold back my cries and moans each time I was struck and I'm sure we were heard on that quiet night.

That bridge will never be the same to me. I just hope there were no cameras. ;-)

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Sleetnado.... Day 1

We recieved some really bad weather this weekend. Its pretty rare for these parts. If were lucky, we get snow maybe once a year. (Which I'm totally thankful for. I couldn't handle much more of this.) To be honest it not even snow, its frozen precipitation and the roads are iced over.

The whole area shuts down. We just don't know how to drive on this stuff. Well with school being canceled, I did get to enjoy some time with the kids. We played outside and took lots of pics. We built a fire and watched Christmas movies while drinking hot chocolate.

But the real fun happened when the kids left to spend some time at their grandparents house that evening.

I received a text on my phone from Clyde who was in the other room. I was instructed to go get dressed and come find him. It was playtime!!!! When I walked in the room, he had it all laid out for me. My corset, thong, garter belt and stockings and even the wrist cuffs were there. I took my time getting ready, letting the anticipation build.

What I saw when I walked into "the dungeon" took me by complete surprise. There was Clyde in a suit holding a paddle.  And looking sexy as hell. I had told him quite sometime ago the I wanted him to suit up for me at playtime, so I couldn't have been more pleased and instantly wet.  Next to him was all of our implements and toys lined up for his selection.

He quickly pulled me over his knee and began spanking. He was in full Dom mode tonight. You all dont want to hear all the details  (do you?) So ill just say he worked me over for a good couple hours before he let me come.

It was a fantastic way to spend day 1 of Sleetnado 2013.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

No drivin ass

What's the punishment for going 51 in a 35?

Apparently its 193 spanks with a plastic spatula.

One for each dollar I have to pay the city.

Yep, that's right. Clyde gave me my first punishment spanking yesterday. It was definitely different.

He lectured

He spanked

He held me down

He spanked some more

He loved

It was awful and wonderful at the same time.

I'm just glad he didn't spank me for backing his truck into a tree last week.

Maybe I should stay off the roads for a bit.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Giving thanks through cock worship

It had been a long and stressful day filled with cooking,cleaning and family members coming and going. By the time most everyone had left, I felt deflated and disappointed with the way the day had turned out. It wasn't over yet and I'd had all I could take. I was sassy with a capital S and received THE look a few times. Almost at my breaking point, I leaned in and whispered in his ear "Will you spank me"?

He got that gleam in his eyes and just nodded. He stood and I followed him into the other room.

He had the belt in his hand when he ordered me to "drop em". The spanking that ensued was just what I needed.

A reset button on my bottom.

Suddenly I felt his hard length pressed against my bare bottom. I smiled, knowing he was ready. I dropped to my knees in front of him and took his velvet cock into my mouth. Slowly licking and sucking feeling the length grow in my mouth.

I love that feeling. Its a very powerful afrodesiac. Wetness gushed between my legs as I bobbed my head. A moan escasped around a mouth full of cock. I couldn't contain myself any longer. I grabbed hold with both hands and began to suck in earnest. I was quickly reprimanded with a smack on my arm, a reminder to place my hands behind my back.

I immediately obeyed and was rewarded when he placed his hands on my head, gripping handfuls of hair. He set the pace, guiding my head and punching his cock further down my throat with every thrust. My world stopped as he held my head in place with his cock firmly lodged down my throat. My eyes begin to water and soon I try to pull back. Once, twice, three times I try and he holds strong.

I relaxed into it as I remembered he is in control. He would never take me further than I could handle. I focus on our only point of contact, his hands on my head and my mouth on his cock.

 He pulls my head back and I gasp for air and swallow the saliva that has pooled in my mouth. He does this repeatedly and it gets easier each time.

I felt the love and gratitude I have for this man swell and flood my body. I allowed those feelings to flow through my mouth and onto his cock, willing him to feel how much he means to me in that instant.

Unexpectedly, he jerks my head away. His cock sliding out of my mouth with a gush. "We'll finish this later."

"Yes, Daddy, thank you."

And in those few stolen moments, he gave me exactly what I needed.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Gobble, Gobble

I hope you all have a great day filled with family, friends and lots of love.

Something to remember: an attitude of gratitude makes for a better marriage and a better life.

Happy Thanksgiving from Bonnie and Clyde!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Mystery gift

My favorite adult website has given an offer I couldn't refuse. In the spirit of the holidays, they are offering a mystery gift of 5 items worth $100 for only $20. I mean what kinky woman, who loves a good deal, could pass that up?

I can't wait to see what I just ordered.

I sure hope this works it works out and that Clyde doesn't kill me for ordering more toys.  ;-)

I will be sure to blog about what this mystery box includes and our experiences with the new toys!

Fingers crossed!!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Progress update

For those of you who have been reading here for a while might know I have been working to bring out Clyde's inner Dom. Well I am happy to share that we have made great progress.

We have been doing TTWD for about a year and leaning more towards D/s as of late. I love to be dominated by him. I love rough sex and I love to be spanked. While we are not what I would call 24/7 D/s we are in a really good place right now.

He is finding his inner Dom quite nicely and I couldn't be more pleased. We had some playtime last night and Clyde really stepped his game up. Whew..... What a night it was.  ;-)

The great thing about him is while I'm asking him to do some very rude things to me, he has a great balance of giving me the roughness that I want and the gentle love that I need. He truly is my best friend, my husband and my Dom. I'm very lucky to have a man that knows me so completely and loves me for who I am.

On another progress note, my MIL is still in ICU with internal bleeding. She has received a total of 12 units of blood at this point. They have been discussing doing surgery to correct the condition but she is too weak and it is too risky right now. She does seem to be doing a little better each day but is still in critical condition.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who sent us positive thought and prayers. It means a lot to us. Please keep them coming.

Our family is extremely grateful to the individuals who have donated  blood and helped to save her life. I would like to encourage everyone who is able to donate, to please do so. You couldn't imagine all the lives you could touch with one simple gesture.

Friday, November 22, 2013

The wine rack bra

A bizarre bra has just gone on sale which is designed to help women hold an entire bottle of wine in their underware during a night out. The wine rack bra looks just like a normal sports bra, but actually hold up to 750ml (an entire bottle of wine) in the cups.

This was too good not to share. 

Ladies, what do you think? Useful or not?

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Prayers needed

My mother in law is a very remarkable woman. She is the toughest person I know, with the biggest heart. She loves her family more than anything in the world and would do anything in her power to help those in need. She's a giver of love who asks for nothing in return. She accepted me as part of the family from day one and for that I will always be grateful. I have learned a lot from her over the years. 

Clyde's mother is not in good health anymore. She has had it very rough over the last few years. She's been in and out of the hospital for various reasons. She has scoliosis, emphazema, pneumonia and now a blood infection, among many other health issues. She has been in the hospital for a couple weeks and today, she took a turn for the worse with the infection. She is in ICU and in a lot of pain. 

I ask that if you are a praying person, please include her and our entire family in your prayers. We need all the help we can get in dealing with this illness that effects us all. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Lol day... the aftermath

Just a little follow up post from LOL day. I want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment. It was so much fun and I truly appreciate it. For everyone who read you know that I promised 5 swats per comment. That may have been a little ambitious on my part. What the hell was I thinking? I didn't expect that many comments.

Clyde took it upon himself to count each comment, including mine. So my apologies if I didn't reply to your comment, I really didn't want to add more to my count! Anyway I ended up with 35 comments. That's 175 swats! Omg!!! A special thanks to Rogue for adding 15 to the count all by herself. ;-)

I was a little worried that this might be one of the most severe spankings to date because Clyde was taking it rather seriously. It turned out to be a great night. It went a little something like this:

While sitting on the couch watching a movie with the kids,I received a text on my phone saying "Come to your Master". I know right. He's never called himself that before. I was instantly wet and knew I was in for a treat. :-)

So I walked into the room and was told to change into my schoolgirl outfit. When came back, he had the lights turned down, implements laid out (with my nipple clamps!!!!) music on and the mood was totally set. I was ready for whatever he had in store for me.

He slid the spagetti staps down my arms exposing my breasts. He toyed with my nipples before applying the clamps. Mmmmm. I love that feeling.

I was told to crawl around as he began to spank. He used every implement we own as he perfectly executed all the necessary swats. I'd say he took it pretty easy on me considering the number of spanks I was getting. It could have been brutal but he switched between light and hard with each implement. It was heavenly.

The night ended with him coming all over my chest and using my hand to rub it into my skin.

It was a great night. So again Thank you to everyone who had a hand in this.

Friday, November 15, 2013


Last spring I had the brilliant idea I was going to raise some chickens. Now, I have never had any experience with chickens (other than the cooked variety) and had no clue what I was doing. But I was going to give it a try anyway.

We went to the feed store with the kids and picked out 10 cute as a button fuzzy little chickies. The kids were so excited. We brought them home and put them in their coop I had set up in the barn. My girls were such good helpers and took care of them daily. They would go out everyday after school and sit with the birds. They fed them and watered them. It had become their project more than mine.

One morning I went out to check how they were and it was a massacre. Chickens down, feathers everywhere. I was so upset. I started looking for clues as to what had gotten in there. When I saw my little dog across the yard playing with something. Yep, you guessed it. He did it. He dug a hole underneath and must have had a field day.

Well after giving the dog a piece of my mind, I gathered the chickens and cleaned up the mess. I just knew my girls would be devastated. So I did what any Mom would do, I played the ol switcheroo. I went back to the feed store and bought 10 more chicks.  I secured the coop as best I could to prevent this from happening again and put the new chicks in the coop. I breathed a sigh of releif , knowing my girls would be none the wiser as to what had happened. Until.....

They came home from school that day and ran out to the barn, I followed.  Everything was fine til one of the twins did I a head count. There was 11 chicks!  11!

How did that happen Mom? Why is there 11?

Apparently during the massacre one of the chicks found a hiding place and didn't reveal itself until it was safe.

I had to explain what happened. Since I had already replaced the chicks, they took the news pretty well. All was fine for a couple weeks.

He did it again!

That's 20 chicks.

I'm done!

I still want to try again. So Clyde has promised to build me a proper chicken coop in time for this springs arrival of baby chickens.

I have learned from this experience and will place the coop in an area my dog does not have access to. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Love Our Lurkers Day

Hello all you lurkers. I know your out there, lurking. Today is your day. Today is the day I give my thanks to all my silent readers. Seriously, this blog wouldn't be the same without you. I really appreciate each and every one of you who have shared in this blogging journey with me.

This is my very first Love Our Lurkers day and I'm hoping you can help make it a success. I would love to hear from my silent readers. All you kinky folk must have something to say about the things you read here. I truly understand. I was a lurker myself for quite some time. Hell I think we all were.

I challenge you to pluck up the courage to de-lurk yourselves and leave me a comment. You don't have to say much, only as much as your comfortable with. You can use an existing profile or comment anonymously. Just let me know you were here.

For an extra incentive, Clyde has agreed to give me 5 spanks per comment. So, don't be shy any longer, lets talk.

Thanks for reading. Happy LOL day!!!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Funishment fuck

"Have you been playing with yourself?"


"I don't believe you. Let me see."

She pulls her panties down and he inspects her pussy.

"I think your lying. For that you will be punished. Turn around".

She sees him pick up the wooden paint stirrer as she turns. He begins to spank soft and easy. It feels good, she moans. He spanks harder and harder,  more force with every strike.

"Does it still feel good?"

"No" she says as she squirms and wiggles.


He spanks long and hard.

He strikes her thighs, making her widen her stance. He strikes her pussy several times before she falls to her knees. He grabs her by the hair and turns her face to his awaiting cock. She begins to suck eagerly.

"Ah ah ah I didn't say you could start yet!" He admonishes her with a few more strikes to her tender bottom.

She growls with frustration as he rips her shirt and bra off. He takes a step back to admire. With a wicked smile on his face he begins to paddle her tits with the wooden stick.

" Hands behind your back"

She obeys. While still on her knees with her chin held high she is the perfect height. He steps forward again and places his cock right in front of her face. She licks her lips and looks up at him awaiting permission. He nods. She sucks him deep as he continues to paddle her tits, thighs and ass from above. With one hand in her hair he guides her head and sets a brutal pace. She is lost. Her mind clouded.

He pulls away and reaches for her pussy.

"Your so wet. Get on the bed. Hands and knees."

He enters her roughly from behind. Slamming in and riding her hard. She loves it.

He withdraws and rubs his cock up and down her slit bringing her wetness up to her bum. She realizes his intention.

"No... no" she whispers.

"Ssshhh. Yes!"

He knows how much she loves this even as she fights it every time.

He enters her ass slowly but with no lube its uncomfortable. He stills as she adjusts to him. Ever so slowly, he starts to move in and out. Pounding harder with each thrust.

"I love that tight ass"

She reaches for her clit. Needing that extra stimulation. Stroking, circling. He pounds, she screams.

"I'm fixing to come!" She says breathlessly. 

She finds her release, moaning loudly.
He follows and collapses on top of her.

As they lay there catching their breath....

"I did play with myself but I didn't come."

"I knew it. I can always tell."
Since so many of you have expressed curiosity in the paint stirrer, I thought I should write a little about it.
It is a very effective implement. A little thuddy, a lot stingy when swung(?) with force. It is an absolute delight when handled lightly and spread around the bottom. Like say for a warm-up.
I wouldn't say its a very durable implement as we have used it only three times and its now broken. But for the price, its definitely worth it! 

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Life gets in the way

Holy mother of hell!!! These days are just flying by. Another week gone and I haven't had much time for blogging, spanking, sex or any of the fun stuff. I have missed writing and catching up with y'all. So, I thought I would write a little update post to let y'all know what I've been up to and  that I'm still here.

• Our landlord decided to sell the house we were renting and only gave us a 30 day notice. It has been a headache trying to find the right house and then get everything packed, moved and settled in 30 days. But we're almost done now. It actually worked out for the best. We found a bigger house that we love just across town.

• My youngest daughter has joined the FFA (Future Farmers of America) again this year. Yes, I realize how country that makes me sound and you'd be right. Its kind of a big deal around here. We have bought her goat to show and it is very time consuming. For the next six months, we will have to go to the farm twice a day to care for and exercise "Bocefus". Its a lot of work but she loves it and it gives her a chance to earn college scholarships.

• While shopping at the home improvement store, I bought a new spanking implement that has become a favorite. It is probably the cheapest implement that we have and one of the most effective. What is it you ask? Of course you want to know, you nosey little buggers. Its a wooden paint stirrer and I highly reccomend it....... Saucy blog post coming soon!

• Clyde is Participating in No Shave November. On Oct. 31 he shaved off his goatee that he has had since a teenager. That first day, I couldn't stop kissing him. I feel like I'm getting some strange. He will try to go the whole month without shaving again. I was told I have to participate too..... Ha!! Fat chance of that happening. I can't even remember what it feels like to have pussy hair, its been so long.

Well that's just a little bit of what's been going on in my life while I have been away from blogland. Hopefully I can return to posting regularly again now that this move is over. Did I mention that I miss my spanky friends?  ;-)

Sunday, October 13, 2013

The cornfields

Anyone who knows us, knows about the cornfields. Our little spot, its a place where we like to go after a night of drinking.

We live in small town USA. There's not a lot to do around here unless you travel half an hour or so in any direction to one of the larger cities. I love this friendly little town we live in but it can get a bit boring. So Clyde and I like to make our own fun.

Our town is so small, there is only one bar.  We spend Saturday nights there dancing and drinking the night away. Everyone knows us there and we always make new friends.When the bartender hollars "last call" and the lights come on, that's when the fun really begins. We sit off to the side watching and make wagers about who goes home with who. It can be quite entertaining watching the drunks stumble about trying to hook up with whoever is left.

We're a little tipsy as we head down that familiar but little known dirt road. It continues for miles and miles with cornfields on each side as far as the eye can see. We stop the truck, turn the radio up and have a party for two.

With darkness all around and no people for miles we are free to do what we want. We hold each other close and dance to the music. We laugh, we spank, we play, we fuck. We enjoy ourselves and I can get as wild as I want to.

What can I say? I'm a southern girl. Living in a small town does have its advantages.

Friday, October 11, 2013

She's proud of me

Celebrating their successes and helping them through their hardships is something I cherish. They make me proud everyday.

 I tell them so.

They are my world.

Its like having my heart outside my body and hoping it is treated kind.  There is nothing in this world that compares to the love I feel for these three beautiful girls. 

There's nothing I wouldn't do for them and they know it.

We are very expressive with our love in this family. There is no doubt how we feel about each other. There is nothing we don't share.

I suppose all you other moms out there can relate.

Imagine my surprise when she tells me she's proud of me....

She says she can see how happy I am. She sees that I make a daily effort to become a better person. She tells me I'm a good wife and mother and she wants to be just like me.

That's the best compliment I could ever receive.

I want her to take the path beside me and do greater things than I could have ever done.

Upon reflection I realize that I'm in the greatest chapter of my life but the rest is still unwritten. There's always room for improvement.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Dammit blogger

I've  noticed that blogger has been repeating almost all my comment twice. Blogger must think what I have to say is so important that they its worth repeating. Lol

So my apologies to everyone whose blog this has happened on.

Please feel free to delete.

Monday, October 7, 2013


Its funny, I've been with this man my whole life. Literally, since I was 12. He's seen me at my worst. Watched me give birth twice ( not to mention countless other less than lady like moments) and yet there was still this wall I put up all those years.

That wall was my inhibitions.

There was a  time after having kids that I became uncomfortable with my body. I felt unattractive. I rarely wanted sex.  When it did happen, I always preferred the lights off and under covers.  Yes, Clyde hated it and this went on for years.

For me the beauty of ttwd has been letting that wall crumble. I no longer feel ashamed that my body isn't perfect. I'm no longer ashamed to show pure lust on my face. I'm no longer  ashamed to fully enjoy my husband sexually.

It has been very freeing to finally know that he thinks I'm sexy at any age, weight, or size.

He loves me for me.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

The business end of the crop

Clyde read my last post and was not happy with what I had written. This lead to a small fight when he stormed off and I threatened to do away with ttwd. (Now you know I did not mean it. I was angry and hurt about not being understood). After a couple hours of cooling off and a few texted apologies, he came home ready to take care of business.

He took out the crop, bent me over the bed and bared my bottom. He gave me exactly what I needed. I was spanked good and hard. He started with his hand rubbing and fondling. Then brought that hand down lightly on my bottom several times increasing the intensity with every strike. It was lovely and just as I settled into the rhythm, he picked up the crop.....

When he spanks with the crop he doesn't just use the flexible tip. He likes to change it up and strike with the long hard handle that lovely tip is attached to. It hurts so much more used this way. I wasn't complaining though. I needed it. I wanted it. I welcomed it. The spanking seemed to last quite a while as he switched from hand to crop and back again.

Once my ass was striped and red hot he flipped me over and serviced me orally. He really is very talented at this and he pushed me to two orgasms.

That was just the beginning of our evening of play.

After that first session, we went to the track and ran two miles together, came home had some dinner and showered.

As we laid in bed naked and caressing I moved between his legs and worshiped his cock. (trying some new techniques I had  read about. Thank you CWS) He loved it and so did I. I kept him on edge as I didn't want it to end.

"Get up here and ride me."

"Can I suck just a little longer?"

With a smile he agreed.

I couldn't get enough as I took him to the back of my throat over and over. I'm not sure how long the cock worship lasted but two hours later I was thoroughly well fucked in every orifice of my body.

A mess of a woman lay across the bed surrounded by lube and a variety of toys....He still wasn't done with me as I was told to turn over with my just fucked ass in the air and spanked with the crop again. He nudged my legs apart and delivered a pussy spanking with that magical leather tip I love so much.

He always gives me what I need, I just have to learn to be patient for it.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

A woman in need

Things have been kind of glum around here lately. I haven't been spanked in far too long and I definitely need it. My head is spinning a million miles an hour. I have asked for it a couple of times and he says he will but you know how life gets in the way sometimes. It just hasn't happened.

Life has gotten very stressfull. We are in the process of house hunting and moving soon. My daughters birthdays are all around this time of year. Not to mention keeping up with busy schedules, homework, after school activities and deadlines for the whole family. Add on top of that all my other responsibilities and yeah I'm a little stressed. But that is just life right?!

My needs and wants have been pushed off the list as we deal with everything else. Same goes for sex. Sure we've had sex but mostly its been quickies for his pleasure and solo sessions with the rabbit for mine. I'm a very sexual person and I need more than that. Sex and spankings are important to me. It feeds my love for him, it connects us and it just feels good.

Unfortunately, I won't see a light at the end of this tunnel until the end of the year. Maybe then things will settle down.

So, I will trudge on and hope I get what I need soon.

Maybe you could give Clyde a nudge and tell him to spank his wife!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Could you help me with my butt plug?

I've been wanting to get a butt plug for a while now and I have finally decided to go ahead and order one.  I started checking out a couple of my favorite sites and now,  here I am a couple hours later, confused as to what I want. There are so many options. Omg I had no idea what I was getting into.

I thought I would reach out to my kinky online friends for some advice.......

My first thought regarding size is that I should go with something a little on the bigger side because I've got experience in that department, I can handle it. But then I thought about it being a plug and staying in place for any amount of time so maybe I should go with something smaller..........  I have a way of talking myself around in circles without a resolution.Maybe some of you with more experience can help me out on this on this one.

Here are my questions:

Being that this is my first plug, which size would be best?

Does the shape really make a difference?

Glass, stainless steel or silicone?

To vibrate or not to vibrate?

Anything else I should know?

As you can see, I'm at a total loss with this. So, any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Swimming with the fish

I wanted to share a funny moment between Clyde and I. Hopefully you will enjoy it.

We are in the middle of the lake on our kayak. I made some smart ass remark that I cannot remember now but the following conversation went something like this:

"You better watch it or you'll be swimming with the fish."
 He leans to the side, tipping the kayak.

I squeal, grab the sides and lean the other way to counteract.
"You wouldn't. If I swim with the fish, you swim with the fish because if you're a bird, I'm a bird right?"

"No, if you're a duck, I'm a duck commander."

I almost fell over I was laughing  so hard.

Any Duck Dynasty fans out there?

OK. Maybe you had to be there. Lol

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Laundry fetish

What is it about laundry?

There are 5 of us in my family so the laundry never ends. I do 2 loads a day and still I hear "I have nothing to wear" on a regular basis. While laundry is not my favorite chore it does have some benefits.....

When I pull a load out of the dryer (sometimes after turning it on several times to remove wrinkles) I carry the basket to our room and dump it on my king sized bed to fold. I usually have music or the TV on to keep my mind occupied while I work.

It almost never fails.... Within a few minutes the bedroom door is closed and locked and Clyde has his way with me. On top of the laundry strewn across the bed.

I think he has a laundry fetish.
Is that a thing?
Anyone else?

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Precious Moments

I just wanted to share a few of my favorite moments from the last week.

 Shower dancing. I set my music player on shuffle and let the music take me away. I play everything from Journey to Lady GaGa to Garth Brooks. The water is hot as I dance and sing along. (My kids think I'm crazy because I sing terribly very loudly and I don't care. Lol) Its a moment of joy for me.

 Driving in the car with the windows down and the radio up. My daughters in the back seat singing loudly to Miranda Lamberts " Mamas broken heart. Its one of those perfect moments.

 When I get into bed at the end of the day and snuggle up with Clyde. I get in on my side and slide over. I lay my head on his chest, he kisses the top of my head and strokes my hair. We lay like that for a while. Sometimes it leads to more, sometimes not but.....this moment..... Ah I love it!

 When Clyde gets his morning feel. He leaves for work before the sun is up while I'm still sound asleep. He comes to me and puts his hand under the blanket. He rubs my body until I stir. He kisses me and tells me he loves me. 

On the lake, in the kyak, just Bonnie and Clyde. The water is calm. There's no one around. We find a small island and pull up to explore. We sit on the rocks looking out at the water in our own little bubble.

The kiss of leather. Standing by the bed, he says " assume the position". I bend over the bed and push my ass high in the air. Off comes his belt and he delivers 45 leather licks of fire. I bask in the afterglow.

A stray hungry kitty wandered up to my house
 I went inside to get her some food and water and told my girls about her. Soon all 5 of us were sitting in a tight circle around the kitty. While we played with her we began telling stories about our day. We talked and laughed until it was time to get ready for bed.

 These are just a few of the moments that bring happiness to my life.

What moments bring happiness to your life?

Friday, September 13, 2013

Kegel balls

I tell Clyde that I'm sore from all the vigorous activity lately and of course, he has an answer for everything......

He tells me I am to were my kegel balls while running errands.

He retrieves them from my closet and comes into the bathroom where I am getting dressed. Taking them out of the box he places a dollop of lube on them and pulls my panty to the side. He inserts them for me then smooths my panty back in place and gives me a good girl spanking with his belt.

When he's satisfied, he turns to walk away and I grab his hand and pull him back for a quick kiss.

We do our running around for the day, all the while I'm smiling to myself feeling like I have a naughty little secret.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

All tied up Part 2


I'm blindfolded and with hands and feet bound.

I feel him untie my hands as I'm pulled so my head is hanging down off the bed. I open my mouth and lick his cock. I can taste myself, salty and sweet. Mmmmmm. He forces his cock down my throat and holds it there as I fight the urge to gag. He withdraws, I take a deep breath and swallow a mouth full of saliva. He repeats this over and over. He thrusts all the way in and his balls are resting on my nose. He loves this position and he's doing everything he can to hold back his own ograsm.

He tells me to reach down and hold the chain that connects the clamps attached to each pussy lip. I take hold of the chain while he fucks my mouth in a slow easy manner. With each thrust I hear the chain rattle. The sound seems to echo through the room.

He withdraws and I'm left waiting and wondering......... Then I feel the flogger
 It lands on my stomach, my breasts, my thighs, my pussy. Over and over again. He uses what I would call medium strength blows. The kind that sting just right. Making my skin heat and sing that heavenly melody.

He stops, its quiet.

Pain shoots through my lips, then my nipples as he moves the clamps where he wants them.  I concentrate on keeping my hands above my head so I don't reach down and pull them off.

My breath is loud in my ears, I'm panting really fast.

I hear a cap being opened. He places a very cold finger to my bum and circles it round and round slowly. My hips begin to grind with a mind if their own. Taking his hand away he replaces it with a dildo. Ever  so slowly he pushes the slick dildo right up my ass. He fucks me with it and rubs my clit gently.

I feel an orgasm building, building.......  Crash!

Wave after wave of pleasure rolls through me as he pulls yet another  orgasm from me.

Suddenly he on top of me pushing his cock into my eager pussy. With the dildo still lodged in my ass he fucks me hard. A punishing rhythm is set as he seeks his turn now. Our hips crashing together with every thrust he finds his release quickly.

He collapses on top of me for a moment while we catch our breath.

He unties each ankle and removes the clamps and dildo.

Ahhhh. Sweet release. I curl into a ball as he removes the blindfold.

I blink up at him and we smile at each other.

"Welcome back." He says and kisses me tenderly.

Oh how I love this man!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

All tied up Part 1

I lie in bed reading as Clyde comes in the room with a glint in his eye and a smirk on his face. He wants to play. He goes into the closet and I hear him digging around in our toybox. He comes back with and lays the toys on the bed.  My eyes widen at the sight.


I jump up eagerly and remove my clothes and in no time, I'm lying on my back while he ties my hands and feet very effectively. Im now spread eagle and cannot move. My world is plunged into darkness as he lifts my head and places the blindfold over my eyes.

I begin to shiver with anticipation as he put the nipple clamps on. My mind is consumed with the pain. I feel the flogger being dragged across my body, head to toe and back again. It tickles and I writhe trying to process the dueling sensations.

Smack, smack over and over the flogger lands directly on my pussy. I feel myself getting wetter and wetter with each strike. I moan and yelp and wriggle but he doesn't stop. He tugs the chain on the clamps and my nipples are on fire. He leans down and kisses me very tenderly. His lips are soft, yet demanding.

Too soon, he's gone.....

The flogger lands on my left tit, right, left, right, he gets a rhythm going.  Just as I settle into it he changes and moves to my stomach, thighs, pussy. Hes everywhere. My mind is struggling to keep up. With no sight every sensation is heightened and I don't know where he will strike next.

I'm so wet and turned on, moaning and grunting with each hit.

The bed dips and he kneels between my legs. I feel the softness of his tongue on my clit and I jerk in surprise. He withdraws and blows on my wetness. He repeats this over and over. Teasing. Driving. Building.

He removes the clamps and places them on each pussy lip effectively holding holding her open for his enjoyment. Teasing me with his tongue, he inserts one finger, then two. He finds my gspot and stokes sending waves of pleasure through my body. Its enough to send me over the cliff and I come loudly.

Suddenly he's on top of me. His cock nudges my opening and he slams into me and starts pounding away frantically, taking his pleasure from my body. I am awash of feelings and another orgasm build inside me.

Too soon, he's gone again.....

To be continued in part two.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Something new

He did it.

Twice in two days.

He's done it once before but its been some time.

He's slowly been working up to it.

I can tell it's something he's into.

It hurts like hell but he does a good job of warming me up first.

By the time he starts, I'm a writhing, moaning mess and my body is on fire wanting more, more.

It feels amazing. Unbelievable.

I go somewhere else in my head.

I hear sounds and recognize my voice but I don't feel like they are coming from me.

I'm clawing at him, moaning and shaking.

I can take no more.

Everything stops but the room is spinning.

I'm laying in a puddle, completely spent.

I love when he introduces something new!

Friday, August 30, 2013

Lunchtime rendezvous

My kids are back at school and we're slowly getting back in to the routine. You know that daily grind of making sure everyone else's needs are taken care of. I actually love these days. I feel needed and like I have a purpose.

Of course with the kids being gone there's extra time for us to play. :) Clyde comes home for lunch most days. I try to have chores done and something ready for him to eat when he comes home. After we have eaten together we move to the couch to snuggle and watch a some TV. Each day this week has gone a little different.

Monday: After eating he picks up the dishes and grabs a spatula from the kitchen. With no words spoken he takes me by my hair and leads me to the bedroom. He motions to me to "drop em". I'm only to happy to do as I'm told. I received a lovely spanking and a pounding from behind. Not a bad start to the week.

Tuesday:  He walks in the door like a man on a mission. I've barely had time to say hello to him and I'm bent over the barstool, bare assed, and spanked by hand and again pounded from behind so hard I thought the stool was going to break!

Wednesday: While sitting on the couch snuggling, his hands begin to roam. One thing leads to another and we didn't even make it to the bedroom. We fucked right there on the couch (in several different positions) and I got a nice pink bottom afterward.

Thursday:  Well all good things must come to an end. Or so I thought. He was having a rough day and hurt his hand so I didn't expect much. But I guess he wanted to release some of that tension as I was put across his knee and spanked with his good hand. There was no sex to follow that afternoon but I will not complain.

Friday: He didn't come home. Instead we met up for a lunch date at one of our favorite places.

I must have been extra irrestible this week because Clyde has serviced me orally every night before we drift of to sleep. I am a lucky girl!

I can't wait to see what the weekend will have in store....

Have a good one y'all!  ;)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Getting spanked on the regular

I asked Clyde last night how we got started with spanking. Neither of us could remember the specifics. I know that I brought it up because its in so many books I read. I became curious.

He's always been the man who would give me one good swat in passing. I used to complain about it. Somewhere along the way I got used to it. I think back now and wonder if he was slowly, stealthy training my behind for what was to come.

When I brought up spanking he didn't hesitate or put me off. He seemed to like it as much as I did right away. Maybe it was filling a need in both of us.

From there things have just fallen into place. Spanking brought out both his dominant side and my submissive side. Our roles are more clearly defined. Our walls have come down. 

We are so open with everything now.
It has brought us so much closer. We show affection to each other all the time. My daughters just smile at us when we do. I think they like seeing mom and dad in love.

Spanking has become part of our lives now. He initiates it as much as I do. We both enjoy it so we do it often. I think we are both natural spankos.

They say a spanked wife is a happy wife....
I'm happy to say I'm getting spanked on the regular!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Thank You

I Love having this blog!

Its like my ..........

So for everyone that reads and comments here I want to say a sincere "Thank You".

You are always welcome here.

My wish for everyone who reads this, leave one word in the comments to tell me what you think about my blog.

Thanks for playing along!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Random things

I saw this on Sarah's blog (Clear as Mud) and thought it might be fun.

So here's some random things about me.....

1. I have 3 dogs. 2 boxers and a Lil mutt
2.  My kids think I'm silly and they know me better than anyone
3.  I lived in Hawaii as a kid but I don't remember any of it
4.  I love to read
5.  I got my first gray hair at age 22. Coincidentally, my youngest daughter was born that year
6.  I was addicted to drugs for about 4 years
7. I've never had my heart broken
8.  I love country and pop music
9. My favorite song right now is Just Give Me a reason by Pink
10. I'm 5'4"
11. I have medium length, light brown hair
12. My eyes are hazel
13. I'm ocd
14.  I drive Tahoe that I named Sally
15. I've been screwed over by girlfriends in the past so I'm very careful who I let in my circle
16. I don't have a bitch bone in my body
17. Family is the most important thing to me
18. My parents are the best
19. I hate shopping
20. My favorite drink is sweet iced tea
21. My favorite alcoholic drinks are royal fuck and vodka cranberry
22. I don't eat sweets
23. I love to laugh
24. My favorite shows are Friends, I love Lucy and How I Met Your Mother
24.  I'm a hopeless romantic
25. My favorite movie is The Notebook
26. I have 4 tattoos
27. This list is harder than I thought
28. I'm very loyal to those I love
29. Everyone loves me because I'm awesome.
30.  I'm most comfortable in jeans and boots
31. I tell all my daughters that they're my favorite
32. I like to sleep in late
33. I've been married for 13 years
34. I had twins all natural. No drugs
35. I have a very high pain tolerance
36. I've never been in a physical fight
37.  I'm kind of a pervert
38.  I love rough sex
39.  I've had the same best friend since 9th grade
40.  I love to sing but only in the car and shower
42. I just skipped 41
43. I hate lettuce but wish I liked it
44. My biggest fear is someone hurting my daughters
45. I'm also really scared of snakes
46. I'm rather adventurous
47. My toes are always painted a pretty color
48. I love to watch football
49. My favorite tattoo says Hakuna Matata
50. I feel the need to clean even if its not mine
51. I like to watch porn
52. I don't care much for the name Bonnie. I don't think it suits me
53. Don't touch my belly button!
54. I love blogging
55. Clyde is my soulmate
56. I rarely go barefoot, even at home
57.  Someday I hope to write a book
58. I'm very hard on myself
59. I love to look around antique stores but have never bought any
60. I'm just a country girl who loves to love
61. I'm queen of procrastination
62. My childhood nickname was "Pooter"
63. I don't like to cook
64. I love to kayak.
65. I used to belong to the IBTC. If you don't know, you were never a member lol

I could come up with a lot more but I'm sure you're bored of this so I'll stop there.

Friday, August 9, 2013

The naughty school girl

Clyde comes in the room and sees me standing there. Its a one piece dress with white spagetti strap shirt and pink plaid pleated skirt cut high in the back, leaving my bottom exposed, and matching thong panty and neck tie.

The naughty school girl in need of punishment.
He steps close to me and runs his hands over my body. He holds his hand out to me, I take it and he spins me around slowly. Admiring and rubbing as I go. He picks up his phone and snaps a few pics while I pose in various positions.

Stepping back, he pulls my top down exposing my breasts and puts on the nipple clamps.

I gasp as the pain sets in and he smiles at me.

I have never used nipple clamps before and the sensation was incredible. At first they weren't bad and I thought "that's it?" but the longer the clamps stayed on the more intense the pain got. They might just be my new best friends.

 I am on fire and so wet already and he's barely touched me.

He gently tugs on them and watches my reaction. Leading me over to the bed he puts his hand between my shoulder blades and pushes me down so I'm laying over the side with my upper torso on the bed. This is his preferred spanking position. Using the new crop, he spanks me until my bottom is red and I'm a squirming, wimpering mess.

Taking me by surprise, he grabs a hand full of my hair and brings me to my knees in front of him. His hard cock is already exposed and glistening with a drop of pre-cum. I don't hesitate as I put my mouth on it.  

Once I've finished him off he releases my hair and smiles at me. Clyde picks me up, gives me a tight hug and whispers "Good Girl." Then walks away into the bathroom to take a shower.

Leaving me needy, wanting and wet.

I'll have to wait to get mine. This was for him.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Toy shopping

On our long trip home, I was driving, he was sleeping. As the miles passed I kept seeing signs for an upcoming store. So when the exit came up I just pulled right off the highway and found the store.

Clyde was a little surprised when I pulled off the highway to go to a sex shop. He just shook his head at me and gave me a look that says "What am I going to do with you?" Lol

It was a popular adult store round these parts. Clean, classy, nice.

In the past we have shopped online for toys and only been to the stores a couple of times because theres not one close to us.

Anyway it was fun. We talked about all the different toys, paddles, bongade, etc. It was a good way for us to talk about the things we are into.

So we had fun with it. We tried out a couple implements with just a quick swat. We were laughing and playing and probably touching everything and I got worried we were going to get kicked out because the sales lady was watching. In the end we settled on a good quality crop, nipple clamps and a naughty school girl outfit!

When we got back in the truck Clyde grabbed my hand and placed it on his hard cock. I smiled. He was so turned on, he couldn't wait to get home. He tried to issue another challenge but because I was driving he had to wait.

And wait a while.

It was still an hour till we got to hometown and we had to pick up the kids and dinner.

Once everything finally settled down for the night he had me put on the outfit for some playtime.

To be continued....

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Road head

We were on our way to the casino on Saturday afternoon. We had been flirting and touching the whole way. Once we started getting close he gave me 10 mins to get him off while he was driving.

I was more than happy to accept that challenge. I reached over and unzipped his pants and yanked them down a bit and took his hard cock in my mouth.

I gave him the best blow job I know how. In broad daylight at 70 miles an hour as cars passed.

I think I got the job done in much less than 10 mins. As I had time to right myself and him before we pulled into the parking lot.

Monday, August 5, 2013

When the kids are away, the parents will play

So my kids went to Grandma and Grandpas for the weekend.... A welcome break. I thought it would be a good time to talk to Clyde about some of the things that had been bothering me. Things didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked. We fought. We weren't understanding each other. We both may have said some hurtful things. Finally Clyde had had enough and decided to put an end to the nonsense.

He spanked me. 

With a belt.


I find that when I really feel like I need it and I'm a little angry, I have a much higher pain tolerance. So the spanking went on for a while.

He talked during this spanking which he doesn't normally do. He made me admit that I belong to him and told me not to doubt our relationship anymore. When he has a belt in his hand, his words are so much more effective. 

Not surprisingly, we both felt so much better after the spanking that we had another way of reconnecting. ;)

The next day we took a road trip to a neighboring state and visited a casino. We had so much fun. I even doubled my money on the roulette table! We danced at the club there and when we finally had enough for one day we went to the hotel and rested. We were pretty tired that night but the next morning I got another spanking. The walls of the hotel were thin and I'm sure someone had to have heard.

We left the hotel and drove 30 mins away to a beautiful waterfall that I have always wanted to visit. We hiked and swam and even walked through the ruins of an old castle built there in the early 1900s.

On the way back home I made a pit stop at an adult store and bought some new toys (that I will tell y'all about in my next post) with my winnings!

It was one of those perfect weekends. 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Guilt and self loathing

WARNING this post is a bunch of late night rambling that won't brighten your day. Proceed with caution or move on to happier blogs.

Its late at night and I can't sleep. I have so many thoughts running through my head that I thought I should write them down and get them out.

I don't know what is going on with me but my spirit just took a nose dive. Seriously, a crash landing. I loved myself a week ago. Now I'm full of self loathing.

Why? You may ask....

Here's the list:

I feel extremely guilty for not having a job. I haven't had a job for many, many years. I worked at a few places over the years at Christmas time or just when we needed financial help. I'm 32 years old and have never had a full time job. How sad is that? I want one but I had kids young and never had the chance to go to college. I had big dreams of being a teacher and an athletic coach. That didn't happen. Now I feel inadequate. I don't even know where to begin.

We haven't had much play time. Because of that my sex drive is diminishing.  I'm finding out that I'm the kind of girl who need constant reassurances and ego stroking to keep the fire going. I don't want to be that girl.

I've gained about 10 lbs. over the last few months and I feel so fat and ugly. That may not sound like much but I'm not a big girl and it shows. I also feel like this is part of the reason why Clyde is "too tired". Probably not but it feels like rejection.

I have a ton of mom guilt. Its summertime and my kids are driving me crazy. I shouldn't feel like this. I know my children are a gift and I love them more than life itself. But I am tired of being a referee between my twins and my youngest. Its too hot here to go out and do much so we stay home a lot and I feel guilty that we are wasting their summer.

From time to time I have doubts about my marriage. Did we marry too young? Am I the right woman for him?  Is he the right man for me? Are we together for the right reasons? Am I making him into someone he's not?  Why would he want to be with me?

I think my blog sucks. I love writing and meeting people in blogland has been such an eye opener. I really like blogging but again I feel inadequate. There are some really smart, funny, loving people here and I feel like I'm on the outside trying to push my way in. Why would anyone want to read about my life. I'm really not that interesting.

I absolutely HATE feeling like this. I'm not this girl. Usually I have a smile on my face and can find a silver lining in any cloud.

Gosh, I even feel guilty for writing this.  What is wrong with me?

I haven't talked to anyone about the way I've been feeling. I just keep it to myself. Why bother anyone else with things I need to fix about myself?

Do you know what I feel like I need? A good spanking, a lecture and a plan of action...... OR maybe just some love and understanding.

If only I could give those to myself....

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A lull and a party

I'm in a bit of a lull. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I haven't felt very submissive lately and I haven't felt Clyde's dominance either. I have been grouchy and at times very snippy.

He has been working his ass off in this summer heat. I have always appreciated how hard he works. He's always hustlin. He has the ability to make money out of thin air. I don't know how he does it but because of that, he has been really tired and not had much energy for playing. Of course I have received some spankings and good sex but it feels forced and I haven't been able to let go during the spankings. The release is not there.

I feel kind of lost right now. I mean, I love ttwd and I love the changes I see in our relationship but it feels like all that has disappeared. I have tried to remain submissive and feed his dominance but it feels like rejection when he is too tired.

I know I shouldn't complain. He will read this and wonder what else he has to do to make me happy. I know he tries to give me what I want and he does makes me happy.

I realize now that ttwd takes a lot of work from both sides. I worry if we don't get back on track it will all slip away and return to the way things were. I feel like he might want that because I was a lot less work for him. I just floated through the days feeling like there's got to be MORE while he was happy as a clam. Oblivious to it all.

I love ttwd, I just want him to love it as much as I do. Maybe I'm asking to much from him.

My hope is that things will return to normal again soon.

And because I don't want to end this on a sour note, I will tell y'all about some fun we had recently.

Last weekend Clyde and I went to a friends house for a party. We had a great time. It was a 70s party and everyone dressed up. I went as a hippie with my bell bottoms and tie die halter. Clyde was the hit of the party though. He and brother-in-law went as cheech and chong. They played off of each other well and kept everyone entertained the whole night. Clyde was Tommy Chong  complete with a HUGE joint. lol We had so much fun dancing and drinking the night away.

When we got home, he left the beard and wig on and I got some strange :)

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Kittys hungry

Sometimes I feel
She can't be tamed
A mind of her own

She's a part of me
that I can't ignore.
She clenches and tingles.
And yearns for release.

He's not always there.
What's a girl to do?

I'm on fire
Burning with desire
Kitty's hungry

He's asleep next to me
What's a girl to do?

My hand travels down
An oasis has been found
My mind drift to times of the past
I can feel it now

Its building
I'm quiet
I pinch my nipple
It sets me off

Kitty purrs
Kitty relaxes
Kittys happy

For now...

Monday, July 22, 2013


Do you remember the kink list?

Well if not, its a list I put together for myself of my kinky desires. Kind of a sexual bucket list. I showed it to Clyde and he liked my little list. Slowly we have crossed some off and then I may have added some more. Lol

Well one of the items on my list was a threesome with another woman. He knows I've always had a thing for pretty ladies and we have on occasion done a soft swap (anything but intercourse) with other couples. We've been to strip clubs (the classy kind, you know, totally nude and byob j/k)and had great times. I'm not generally a jealous person. If a beautiful woman walks by with a nice ass, I will even point it out to him and vice versa.

But just today I was texting with him while he was at work.  I told him I really appreciate him being so open to the things I want. I also said that I didn't want it to be all about me and was he getting everything he needed out of ttwd. He assured me he was and that seeing me happy was all he needed. I know, very sweet right. But as the conversation continued he brought up having another woman join us.

Actually what he said was that he would like to see me with another woman.
I didn't read it that way. All I saw was that he wanted another woman. I couldn't believe how jealous I became.

 After a long conversation about how some fantasies should not come true, he reminded me that it was on my kink list.

Its true. Its there on my list but after my reaction today, I don't think I'm ready to share.
Maybe he could just watch ;)

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Change is good

I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the was ttwd had changed our marriage. For me this has breathed new life into our relationship. We play more often. We laugh more often. Intimacy has been restored. We love deeper.  For the first time in years we are both making a great effort to show each other how we feel.

I hope that Clyde is seeing these benefits as much as I am.

Clyde has slid into his role quite nicely. I had this image in my head of what type of dominant I wanted him to be but I'm finding out that I love the dominant he is more than my fantasy. He has stepped up in a big way lately. He's indulging in my masochistic desires with me and I have the bruises to prove it.  He did leave one rather deep bruise on my hip that he has been concerned about. Its very sweet the way he becomes tender when he asks me about it. He checks on it. I have reassured him that bruises aren't a big deal for me. I expect them to happen from time to time. I feel proud to wear his mark.

He's also done a great job keeping my emotions in check lately.  There was something that happened the other day that made me jealous. He was very quick to put a stop to it and he's been very attentive to me. He's been doing many things that will make me smile to myself. I don't even think he realizes how dominant he has become. Yesterday after I stepped out of the shower,freshly shaved mind you, he had me stand still while he inspected me. This is new. I love when I see growth in him. He has changed so much for me. He has stepped out of his comfort zone and given me so many new experiences. For this I will always be grateful.

This has in turn fed my submissive side. I have never felt this way. I feels more connected to him than ever before.

He makes me a happy woman.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Do you believe in signs?

I do.

Two years ago we were at the beach with our daughters when rocks started washing up at our feet with inspirational words written on them.  We collected about 6 rocks that day. I put them in my red mesh bag that I always use for the beach.

Yesterday as I was packing our bag for the beach, you know towels, sunscreen, toys etc. One of the twins asked for a hair brush that I had packed. I dug down to the bottom and felt one of those rocks. I picked it out and turned it to face me.

It had the word "submissive" written on it.

Now this one word meant a whole lot more to me today than it did 2years ago. I was dumbfounded and sat on the bed  thinking about what this meant.

Now I'm not a religious person. Nothing wrong with it but its just not how I was raised. But holding this rock felt like some higher power telling me I'm on the right path. Validation. I mean it was the only rock still there from the 6 we collected.

This trip to our favorite beach town has been wonderful. We have had some great family bonding moments with our girls and I have taken so many pics I would love to share with y'all.

Tomorrow is a celebration day here in the US. Usually filled with food ,family, lots of alcohol and fireworks. My family and I will be spending the day on the beach followed by a parade and fireworks. I can't wait!

I hope that y'all stay safe and party responsibly.

There's some idiots out there. Lol

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Birthday Spanking

Today is my birthday and Clyde has been so good to me. I received one of the best spankings I've had yet.

"Come here birthday girl" he says patting his knee.
I walk over and lay across his lap on the bed. He hands me a pillow for my head. I settle in and wait while he pulls my panty down.
"One, smack, two, smack, three..... He counts them out until he reaches my age. When he's done he reaches between my legs and feels how wet I am. He continues to spank and fondle until I'm just a puddle of need in his lap. What he does next really surprised me.

I feel something cold touch my pussy. It begins to vibrate. I moan as he pushes it inside me. He works the vibe while he spanks me and I grind my hips. It was an intense orgasm that left me with a smile on my face. When it was over I turned to him and noticed he was hard as a rock. I start to undo his pants to take care of him.

"Nope." He says "That one was just for you." So I snuggle up on his chest and fall asleep.

It has been a pretty good birthday. We just got back from dinner with my family to celebrate. We had a great time with lots of laughs. Soon we will meet up with some friends at our favorite bar for drinks.

I wish everyday could be my birthday!

On another note we leave Monday for a week long vacation at the beach. I will try to catch up with y'all when I can.

Hope your weekend is as good as mine ;)

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

DD. Its not for everyone

By now you know that Clyde and I do not practice DD. We use spanking for erotic purposes only. I have mentioned before that I would like to add the discipline dynamic to our relationship. Clyde didn't really take to it but never said no to it either. I had been trying to push him in that direction.

Well the other day that came to a head. I was feeling a little upset that he hadn't taken any steps toward DD. We talked about it and he flat out told me that this was not something he could do. He would not punish me. He would not set rules for me. He didn't feel I deserved that and it just wasn't in him.

Of course I felt let down. I withdrew. We didn't talk to each other for several hours. I had to let that sink in. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

At the end of the day when we were alone I asked if we could talk about it. And boy am I glad we did. He made me realize that there is nothing he would want to change about me. He loves me for me. He doesn't want to discipline me for any behavior. He just wants me to be me.

I love him for that.

We will continue our journey with ttwd and do it our way.

Friday, June 21, 2013

The story of us..... in a nut shell

I was 12 years old the first time I saw Clyde. I was at a football game with a friend. Just as the first half ended she pointed to a player on the field and said he was her new boyfriend. I watched as Clyde took off his helmet and grabbed a drink. I watched him as he talked to people. I watched him when he played. I watched him the rest of the game. I was being drawn to him and I have belonged to him since that day.

As time went on I got to know Clyde and we became friends. He was funny and cute and a total bad boy. They broke up after a couple of weeks but I continued to see him. He would walk me to my classes and we talked on the phone for hours everyday.  He was always around. I think I loved him even then.

When I was 15 he told me he was going to marry me and that we were going to have twins one day.  I absolutely wanted this to be true. I knew what we had was real even if no one else believed in us.

Did I mention he was a bad boy? Yeah real bad. No one wanted us to be together. My parents pushed and pushed and did everything they could to keep us apart. They just didn't see what I saw in him.

When I was 16 he gave me a promise ring. We were a messy, loud and passionate couple. We fought like crazy because we were a couple of kids who had very real feelings and I sure didn't know how to handle them.

We broke up for 6months my senior year of high school. I can't even remember the reason now but I was miserable. We both dated other people but no one made me feel like Clyde does. He was all I could think about.

When we got back together we agreed never again. We got married after I graduated and right away I got pregnant with twins. That was a tough year. Probably the most challenging year we have ever had. We went on to have another daughter 4 years later.

Now its been almost 20 years since the first time I laid eyes on him. I love him more and more each day. He has become the most wonderful man and father to our girls. I'm grateful for everyday I have with him and never want to be without him.

I just want to be the only girl he loves all his life.

Follow by Email