Saturday, April 19, 2014

What was I frustrated about?

Its been a crazy morning. The kids are out of school and they have friends over. My house is a mess. I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off just trying to keep up with it all. My emotions are getting the best of me and reaching a boiling point.

Clyde walks in for lunch and sees the frustration written all over my face. He gives me a sympathetic smile and lifts his foot. Its a silent order to take his shoes off. I kneel in front of him and do just that, then return to the dishes.

He asks how my day is going and I'm off. He sits and listens patiently while I vent all my frustrations. When I've finished my bitching, he leaves the room and I hear him tell the kids in a very strict, you better do as I say tone, that they must clean up. When he returns, I'm told to follow him.

The water is turned off the dishes abandoned. They can wait. I see the look in his eye and I know my day is about to get a whole lot better.

I follow quietly behind him to the living room in the back of the house, far away from any little ears. He stands back and allows me to enter before him as he turns and locks the door behind us. I see the paddle in his hand and my heart skips a beat as a mischievous smile spreads across his face.

Clyde takes my hand and leads me over to the chair. I assume the position and wait for that first strike.

Starting off slowly, he paddles over my clothing as I moan and squirm a bit. The slow burn begins and my bottoms are pulled down but not off. With my panties bunched around my thighs, he increases the intensity of the spanks. I squirm and moan and I can no longer hold my position. My ass is on FIRE!

I hear the shuffling of clothing and the tell tale sign of a zipper being pulled down. I have to restist the temptation look behind me as he slowly sinks into me.

When we are finished, he looks me in my eyes and asks, "Feel better?"

"Oh yes, I'm feeling much better now"

I have a permanent smile on my face for the rest of the day. This is why I love him!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Trying again

Clyde and I have hit a road block. I'm still not exactly sure when it happened or why but our dynamic changed. I suppose you could say, life has gotten in the way.

We have discovered that a lot of what we wanted to implement into our daily life was just not possible while raising a family. It certainly isn't easy to redefine our relationship after many, many years together.  So we kind of took a break from D/s. It wasn't a mutual decision, he just stopped, which left me feeling very confused. I still remained submissive in my actions but I no longer felt it in my heart. We went back to just being our normal, vanilla selves with some hot and satisfying sex thrown in for good measure.

The loss of our dynamic was hard for me to deal with. Of course, I was still getting spanked from time to time, but vanilla had crept into our life in a big way. I  still wanted more from him but as time has gone on, I've done a lot of thinking.

Maybe I pushed him too hard too fast. He told me that he started to feel as though I didn't like him for who he was and tried too hard change him instead of accepting him as he is.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I love him completely and unconditionally. I have for nearly my entire life. Clyde is a great husband and he never leaves any doubt in my mind about what he feels for me. He may not always say the words I want to hear but its always there, in his actions. He takes very good care of our family and I'm a lucky woman to have such a good man.

When we started spanking 2 years ago, it came really easily for us and we both found something that fulfilled a need within ourselves. My submission went hand in hand with becoming a spanked wife. It felt very natural for me but I felt I had to put in a lot of effort to bring out his dominant side when I should have let him find it on his own.

I had an idea in my head about what a dominant should be like and I tried to make him into that. Looking back now, I may not have always done that in a positive way.  I wanted him to lead and I wanted him to be in control but I never truly let him have the reins.

I see now how that must have been very confusing for him. I had spent years trying to defy his control and possession. I had been told all my life how unhealthy it was in a relationship. I felt it made me look weak to allow him so much power.When I discovered ttwd and read real life stories here in the land of blogs, I was instantly inspired and those walls came down.   After doing a lot of research into D/s, I felt he was a natural Dom and would take to it easily.  

Of course, some aspects he did but others he struggled with. I didn't allow him time to really find his footing naturally. We talked a lot in the beginning about what we (I) wanted from this. Bless him, he was along for the ride.

Somewhere along the way we became comfortable in ttwd but I still wanted more. Instead of savoring what we had accomplished together, I pushed. We had fallen in love with each other in a whole new way. The spark was back, the passion is back and we communicate better than we ever have before. So,why did I have to push?

Well I guess it all comes back to the image I had in my head. That, along with comparing our relations to those I read about was detrimental to our dynamic.

So after taking a step back and reexamining ttwd, we have come to the conclusion that it has become a very important part of us. He misses it just as much as I do. He likes how cherished my submission has made him feel and he certainly doesn't want to loose that and neither do I. We are too invested in this way of life for us to go back to where we were. It has been very eye opening for both of us. I'm even to the point now that I'm very grateful that he pulled back because it allowed me to see the error of my ways.

I have let go of the Dom in my head and learned to just be more in the moment and content with what we have. I realize he can't lead if I'm telling him which way to go.

Very slowly D/s is creeping back into our lives. We are taking baby steps to assure  that we are both getting what we need from this thing we do.

It feels like a new beginning, a second chance, and that is very exciting. My Mater has begun to reemerge and I have vowed not to force our path but allow him to steer us around the roadblock and take us in the direction we need to go.

Monday, April 7, 2014

A little playtime

We had been planning this night all week and for the first time in forever, we had the house to ourselves. Clyde made sure it was unforgettable.

He sent me into the other room to put on my corset and prepare myself. When I was done dressing, I walked into the room and saw his creation. He had screwed two eye bolts into the exposed ceiling beam in the center of the room. From the bolts were two straps with wrists cuffs attached and hanging at just the right height.

He guided me over and strapped in one wrist, then the other. He nudged my legs further apart. When he was satisfied with my position, he pulled the blindfold out of his pocket and placed it over my eyes. Everything went dark. The only sound was my erratic breathing and the click of a camera as he snapped a few photos.

Smack, smack! He's there paddling, paddling my ass and thighs as I squirm and wimper. He circles me trailing little licks across my chest and kissing that special spot on the back of my neck. I'm so aroused, I want more contact, I wimper and moan. He changes implements and paddles some more. He teases me with light kisses that end too soon.

A pattern forms. Paddle, paddle, paddle, circle, kiss, paddle, paddle, paddle, circle, kiss. Im writhing with it, my ass is on fire.

My corset is unbuckled and it falls to the floor. He places clothes pins on my nipples and around my breasts as I focus on my breathing, trying to process the pain. Its only just bearable and oh so heavenly.

His finger slips through my folds and I'm soaked, embarrassingly soaked. He plugs my bottom hole and inserts king Kong in my pussy and fucks. Hard. I'm so full, building, building, crash. I come loudly. My whole body shaking and convulsing. I hear his amused chuckle at the show I have just provided him with.

The plug and dildo are removed while I come down from my high. He removes the clothes pins one by one and oh, the pain when they are removed is intoxicating as he caresses and suckles.  He drags my hips back and eases in to my ass. It starts slowly and builds with intensity, setting a punishing rhythm. I grab onto the straps with my tingling hands and hold on for dear life as he pounds into me. Holding onto my hips, he pulls at me with each thrust. One last hard push and he stills, holding me in place as we both reach climax together.

"I'm not done with you yet."

He has the flogger and he rains down strikes as he circles me. I feel him nudge my feet further apart so he has access to my pussy and he uses the flogger on my kitty over and over he strikes. I'm on the tip of my toes and if it weren't for my hands being bound above me, I would have fallen over. When I think I can take no more, he changes position and begins to circle, striking as he goes.

I hang my head, I am spent. Nothing left to give.

He reaches up and releases my hands but I'm gripping the straps so tight, he has to peel my hands away. I'm shaking, I'm cold. The blindfold is removed and I blink in the blinding light. He wraps me in a warm, fuzzy blanket and hands me a bottle of water.

We sink to the floor as he holds me tight and tells me I am his "good girl".

Friday, April 4, 2014

A close encounter

I'm standing in the kitchen cooking dinner when clyde comes in from work. He stops and takes in my appearance. A smile creeps across his face and he comes close to wrap his arms around me. He whispers in my ear and begins to lift my dress. As the fabric skims across my thighs up to my belly, a shiver runs through me. He kisses my neck and begins to fondle my bottom. He makes a grunt of disapproval and I know its because I'm wearing panties.

Suddenly, I hear a rip, then another as my panties fall to the floor. I look down and see a knife in his hand. The look on his face is my undoing and I feel wetness seep into my folds and trickle my thighs.

He smiles at me and walks away to let me finish my task.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Cocks in socks

Men are putting their penises in socks on instagram for cancer awareness and its so, so good. 

I'm not sure what this has to do with cancer but its certainly got my attention and who am I to argue.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Caught again

Let me set the scene:

Its the middle of the afternoon. I'm home alone, bored and horny.

What's a girl to do in those circumstances?

That's right, I did what most of y'all would have done. I took care of myself.

I'm lying on the bed playing with myself when Clyde walks in, completely unexpected. The look on his face was  priceless when he saw what I was doing but I knew I was in trouble.

He quickly took the rabbit from me and gave me a harshly spoken warning that there would be a punishment.

I remained quiet. What could I say? I knew I had broken this rule, repeatedly, and gotten caught, repeatedly.

Clyde walks into the bathroom to wash the rabbit. When he returned I saw him put it in his pocket. He was angry. He picked up the belt and mumbled something about a spanking not being a punishment for me but I could tell he really wanted to spank me.

So I looked him right in his eyes and in my softest, most innocent voice said "You know you can spank me anytime you want. You don't need a reason."

So I bent over the bed and wiggled my bottom at him. I heard the jingle of the belt and prepared myself for what was to come. He gave me roughly two dozen quick but very hard lashings.

When I turned to looked at him again, all the anger had disappeared from his face. He kissed me on my forehead and turned to leave. With the rabbit still in his pocket. Dammit!

Don't feel too bad for me, I managed to get in two orgasms before I was interrupted.

I feel terrible.

I'm sorry Master. I'll do better

Friday, March 14, 2014

It started off great....

Pick your implement
Go to the room
Wait for me on your knees
Do not speak.

These are text messages I received from Clyde (in the other room) tonight. This is what I had been waiting for. I hurriedly put the kids to bed and went in search of my weapon of ass destruction. I chose the flogger and the ping pong paddle.

I went into the room, closed the curtains, dimmed the lights, stripped, got in position and waited.

It wasn't long before he entered the room. I bowed my head and held the implements out for him. He circled me, dragging the flogger across my skin.

He flogged and paddled until my skin had a lovely sting and a nice rosy glow.

He was in complete control. It was amazing and exactly what I needed.

From there things get a little hazy.

When he was done, he took my hand and helped me up. I immediately got a very bad headache (almost migraine status) and had to lie back down. I got very cold and began shaking uncontrollably. I felt very thirsty and very weak.

Clyde was great. He took very good care of me, getting some water and pain reliever and holding me until I felt better. It took about an hour or so for my body to return to normal.

I just don't understand it. I felt fine before hand and feel fine now, but what was that?

I'm wondering, could it be subdrop? From everything I have read, subdrop seems to be more emotional and this was purely a physical reaction.

We have had much more intense play with no side effects in the past so I'm hoping that y'all can share some insight with me.

Anyone have an explanation?

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