Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Embarrassing moments

Today I had some alone time and felt the need to service myself. (Yes I know, shocker) So when I was done I went into the bathroom to clean up. I cleaned my rabbit and laid it on the counter to wash my hands.  Well I must have gotten distracted. Soon after I left to pickup the kiddos from school, a light bulb went off. I realized I had left it on the counter in the bathroom. No big deal. I'll just put it away when I get home. But of course when I get home, my teenager goes straight into the bathroom before I can.

I swear I had a mini panic attack. I hear her yell "eew Moooom"!

I wait patiently.

The door opens and she says to me, "Did you forget something in here?"

I say nothing as I slip past her and pick it up and walk to my room. She gives me a very disapproving look of disgust.

Seconds later I hear her enter her room and tell her twin "Mom left one of her sex toys in the bathroom."

Luckily I didn't hear her sisters response. Ugh..... fml.  Kill me now.

I can't help but to think..... one day she'll understand.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Hello old friends

 I feel like it's been a while since we talked. All right I know I have been neglecting this blog as well as catching up on what's going on in everyone else's lives but I'm going to put in a stong effort to be around more. You know how it is, life just gets in the way. Plus, I think I lost my inspiration for a bit.

Things have been going well here lately.  Clyde and i are growing more in love each day. I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true. Having something almost tear us apart has brought us closer in the end. There were definite idiosyncrasies that led to the breakdown. We are learning about each other and how to deal in a whole new way. We've not always been great at communiting and seeing things from the others perspective but again, it's something we are working on.

Having taken my submission off the table made both Clyde and I realize how much a part of us ttwd had become. Everything changed. And we want it back.

We started again on a trial basis to see where it goes. So far things have been great. Clyde is stepping into his role again quite nicely and even more consistent than ever before. I on the other hand have been struggling. I'm having such a hard time getting back into that mindset. I think for me, the hardest part is that I just don't trust him completely so I'm afraid to give myself over to him again. I feel the need to protect my heart.

For his part he has been very patent with me and listened and he's even learning to take my unspoken ques. He's been very creative in finding ways around the roadblocks that I am putting up. For instance, maintenance has never really been a part of ttwd, now I receive it on a weekly basis. There are other rituals he has instated to keep me feeling and thinking like a submissive again.

Its been a tough time for both of us but we know that we both want/need ttwd. It has forged a bond and given us a sense of belonging that has always been the but now it's even stronger than ever.

So to sum up what I feel I've rambling about but not sure I'm explaining myself properly..... we are doing good and back to having some naughty fun again.

Happy spanking my friends.

Friday, November 14, 2014


I've been trying to write this post for quite some time. It's funny, I never have a problem writing about the fun, kinky, sexy stuff that happens in my life but I have a hard time getting out the real emotional stuff. So please bear with me as I pour my heart out on this page.

Clyde did something incredibly stupid. Something that broke my heart and my trust. It wasn't even two weeks after he collared me and I was blind sided and completely betrayed. I never would have expected this from him. At least not when things were so good between us. Things were better then they have ever been. I just can't wrap my head around it and I may never understand why he did it.

I did everything for him. He was my king. I gave him everything I have. All of me. I truly did everything I could to make him happy. And it wasn't enough.

That's what I keep coming back to. It wasn't enough.

We've been trying to work through this. He's trying to make things right and I'm trying to forgive him. But there's no denying that things are different. I feel different.  What he did has changed me. The image of what we have built has been shattered. I feel like he has ruined everything.

He wants it all back. He wants my submission again. I can't give it to him right now. One thing I've learned is that my submission was given freely to him. In the beginning, probably even forced upon him. He didn't earn it and because of that, it wasn't appreciated.  It was taken for granted. They say you don't know what you've got till its gone. He now realizes what a gift it was.

I want to give him my heart again but I can't forget the pain he caused when he had it. My head and my heart are at war with each other. My heart tells me he's sorry and he won't do it again. He loves me to much to ever risk loosing me again. But my head is telling me to protect myself from feeling this way ever again. What's the point of giving myself to him again. If it wasn't enough before, it never will be.

I Thought About leaving. I cant, I won't.  A very good friend of mine told me, I made the decision to stay and I have to own it and really work on putting things back together. I'm trying, I really am. We've got a long road ahead of us.

I've discovered that sometimes good things can come from bad. Lessons have been learned. While I would never condone what he did and I hope like hell it never happens again, something kind of wonderful has come from it. An understanding and a complete turnaround. We already knew we were perfect for each other but having recent events come to light has reinforced our bond and appreciation for what we have built together.

I don't know where we go from here. I feel completely lost and broken.

We are broken but not beyond repair.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Love my lurkers


So I feel like I'm a little late jumping on this band wagon but I do have to say that I love my lurkers (and non lurkers). Today is the day to come out and say hi. Don't be shy. I don't bite, I promise. Unless you like that sort of thing.  ;-)

Here's the thing, we all started out as lurkers at one point. Afraid to comment for risk of saying something stupid or having nothing of substance to contribute to the topic but I can assure you, your comment will be appreciated. This little blogging community is the most accepting group of people I have ever come across. So please don't hesitate and let me know you were here. I have been struggling a bit as of late and could use some encouragement. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, October 6, 2014

Reasons why I love him

Clyde truly is a wonderful man and there are easily a million reasons why I love him. So I'm going to take the time to write some of them down for him to read and also for myself for those times he's driving me crazy and I need a reminder.

He loves me. No, he really loves me, with every fiber of his being. He tells me AND he shows me. Clyde is never one to shy away from affection. We are that couple that you might see at the grocery store, on the bread aisle, in a tight embrace with his hand squeezing my ass. Clyde will never leave me without a goodbye kiss, no matter who is around. He's not afraid to show the world that I am his woman and he leaves no doubt in my mind how he feels about me.

He's very spontaneous. I never know what to expect from him. I like to have a plan and stick to the plan. I'm very structured and sometimes that can be a bit boring. I love that he balances me out. Clyde can say "Let's go camping" and within an hour, we are at the lake picking a campsite. He keeps our life together exciting.

He can be such a little boy. There's a side to him that never quite grew up. He likes to make sound effects when stopping or making a turn.  He still plays with his big boy toys. He likes to go 4-wheeling, ride his motorcycle and shoot guns. Recently he hung himself from a harness attached to a remote operated crane and swung himself around. I consider his boyish side just part of his charm.

He is a great provider. He works hard for our family and he has allowed me spend several years at home to take care of our daughters. Our little family has benefited greatly from it and I will always be grateful to him for this time to focus solely on our home life.

He is so much fun to be with. He has taken me horseback riding, in hot air balloons, ocean kayaking and countless other adventures from driving across the desert to Las Vegas to visiting another country for a late honeymoon. Other times he builds a fire in the backyard and we sit around drinking and talking and sometimes while listening to music we will slow dance in the moonlight. No matter what we do, he makes it fun and memorable.

He just wants to be around me. He spends all his free time with me. Theres never a time that he just wants to be alone or spend time with the boys without me. He includes me in everything he does. He even likes to go shopping with me to help pick out clothes. There's nothing he won't do just to spend time with me and we do it all together.

And last but not least....

He is a great father to our girls. He has achieved a great balance of being the strict disciplinarian and the loving daddy that they need. He helps them with homework, he spends time with them, he listens to them and he gives them guidance with out ever being too tough on them. And he sets the perfect example of how a man should treat a woman. Just the other day my oldest daughter told me someday she hopes to find a man just like her daddy. I hope she does too.

I love you Clyde, more than you I could ever know.

What does your man/woman do that makes you love them so much?

Friday, October 3, 2014

A public flogging

(Pulled from my draft folder because I have a ton in there and never got around to finishing or publishing)

It was a beautiful day spent riding through the countryside on his motorcycle. On our way home we came across a biker bar that we had seen several times but never went in. Clyde pulled in to the parking lot and I was immediately intimidated. There were about 30-40 bikes lined up and several bikers loitering out front. I'm talking men and women with tattoos, bandanas and leather vests. You know, bad ass looking mother fuckers. I wasn't sure what we were about to walk into.

I looked at Clyde pleading with my eyes, "don't make me go in"

"One drink' he says and puts his arm around me as we walk in.

It was clear right away that the alcohol was flowing and people were feeling pretty good. Pretty quickly, people began talking to us and introducing them selves. We found a small table, sat down and ordered a drink. We played some pool, got hit on by a couple of drunk women and were having a really good time.

I was beginning to feel pretty tipsy when the band started. The lead singer was a very attractive woman and she was walking around with a flogger hanging from her back pocket.

Well unbeknownst to me, Clyde had told her it was my birthday. So halfway through their set, she called me up on stage where she pulled out her flogger and got me into position. She flogged me. Up on stage. While the whole crowd cheered her on. It was pretty exciting and I was a horny mess. When she finished, she gave me a quick kiss and sent me back to clyde.

The night continued with more drinking and dancing. We even got invited to go back to the drummers house after for some skinny dipping. I politely declined of course. By the time we left, we had made friends with nearly everyone there.

It was a really fun night!

Moral of this story:  most bikers may look scary but they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.

Friday, September 26, 2014

My new collar

Clyde and I hit a rough patch over the summer regarding our dynamic. There wasn't much consistency and it left me feeling slightly rebellious and bratty and above all..... confused. We had many conversations about what was happening and how to get back on track. I think we both had different ideas about which direction to go. It was important to both of us for me to step back and let him lead us in the way he chooses.

I am proud to say that since I have done that, he has stepped up in a major way. He is leading our family down a path that feels very meant to be.

He is in control and I couldn't be happier.

We recently celebrated our 15 the wedding anniversary so it was a very sweet moment when he presented me with my new collar that he placed on my neck. We talked about what it meant to each of us and pledged our commitment to each other and our dynamic.

I'm not sure where this journey will take us next but I know that I have never felt more complete and more loved than I do having his collar around my neck. I feel very honored to wear this and know that I am owned by a man who loves me with all his being. Its a wonderful feeling that I will always treasure.

I find myself at different points throughout the day touching my collar and it centers me and bring a peace to my heart that is indescribable.

Its safe to say that we are back to where we want to be and having fun once again.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

How often do you have sex?

I was speaking with a friend recently and as it often happens with women, our conversation turned to sex. She was surprised to learn that Clyde and I have such an active sex life after all these years.  She admited that hers is considerably less but it got me thinking.... How often do most married couples have sex?

From everything I've read on the subject, of course, it varies greatly depending on age, kids, health, number of years married... etc. Some couples have very active sex lives while others feel lucky to get it even a couple times a year. This blew my mind. A couple times a year??

I've never fully appreciated the frequency of our sex until this very moment. Maybe I took it for granted. I'll be the first to admit that Clyde and I have always had a very active sex life. Even from day one there has been a strong sexual chemistry between us. Through kids and hard, stressful times we've always had sex at least 4 times a week, on a good week.... Daily.

Of course there are times when we become too tired or preoccupied to get down and dirty but sexual intimicy has always been a priority in our relationship.

As best i can figure out from researching online, most married couples have sex, on average, a few times a month. So me being curious, I thought I would pose this question to my spanky friends here in blogland.

So I ask, how often do you have sex?

No judgment here, just blatant curiosity. Please feel free to share as much or as little on this subject as you would like.

As it stands now, Clyde and I have had no sex, of any kind, for 5 days and I'm going crazy!  My kitty has a mind of her own and she's been left unattended for too long.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


Have you ever been plugged just before a long motorcycle ride? I had the pleasure of that experience today. And...... mmmm it was exciting!

The vibrations.

The bumps and dips along the road.

Pressing my boobs against his back.

The occasional reach around.

The rev of the engine.

The look on his face as he checked to see that I was enjoying myself.

It was an experience I won't soon forget and one I hope to have more often.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Out of the mouth of babes

Today I picked my youngest daughter up from school as soon as she got in the car she says..

Mom guess what!


I'm getting arm pit hair!

(She lifts her arm to show me and I see a few tiny black dots emerging from the hair follicles. She's beyond excited.)

I see. That means your growing up.

Yeah, guess what else?


I'm getting hair down there too. Wanna see?

No, sweetie. I'll take your word for it.

(She's quiet for a moment while I start driving. Clearly, she's thinking.)



Do I have to shave it? Like you do?

(I'm trying my best to keep a straight face)

Well, I guess that's up to you but you need to wait several years before you're ready for that. Ok?


I love having daughters. Now my question is how/ why did she discover that at school!

Monday, August 18, 2014

Hotel sex

We were due for some alone time. One last weekend getaway before the routine of school forces us into days of endless activities.

Soon after the kids were picked up, Clyde and I hopped on his motorcycle and began our journey. We rode south for 250 miles to the river for some fun. After a long and exhilarating ride, we finally made it to our hotel. We settled in for a moment and decided we could really use a drink.

It was late and we arrived at the hotel bar 30 minutes to last call, on a mission. After 4 shots and 2 drinks each we were feeling pretty good. Speed drinking as we called it. The music was bumping and we found ourselves on the dance floor with a hand full of other people having a great time when the lights came on. All too soon the bar was closing but the party wasn't over.

We walked back to our room just across from the pool and threw on our swim suits, climbed the now locked fence and jumped right in. A lot of others were apparently not wanting the party to end and followed suit. There were quite a few people and the alcohol was flowing. We had a lot of fun but were both feeling pretty horny by this point and went back to our room.

Once inside with the door locked, we stripped out of our wet suits and Clyde threw me on the bed.

"Don't move."

Stupidly, I had not packed any implements for our trip but that didn't stop him. He found the belt he was wearing earlier and returned to me. He gave me a good thrashing. Slightly numbed by the alcohol, I was ready for so much more but with my ass a glowing red, Clyde dropped the belt. He climbed on the bed with me and gave me a thorough fucking in various positions.

When we were finished, we took a nice hot shower where he pushed me against the wall and took me once more from behind.

It was only when we left the bathroom that I realized we had not closed the curtains.

Everyone still left at the pool got quite a show.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014


I am tied spread eagle on the bed as he rumages through the toy box.  I see him select the blindfold and place it over my eyes. I am blind and cannot move, so I listen. I listen to my own erratic breathing and the sounds of him moving about the room.

He begins striking my tits. Its the crop, I think. Right, left,right, left. Then he flicks the tip over my nipples as I cry out. Uhhhh. He likes the sounds I make so he continues. I squirm. He fingers. I try to anticipate what will come next but he's unpredictable.

The blows keep coming. The flogger strikes my stomach, my tits, my legs. He fingers again. I squirm and moan.

He stops. I hear movement, then strong vibrations. He places the Hitachi against my clit and my biggest dildo inside me. I am fucked with the dildo hard as my hips rock with the rhythm. He forces two orgasms from me.

I am so sensitive, I beg him to give me a break. He shows mercy on me and removes both the dildo and the wand. He begins to flog again. My skin sings and tingles.

Its oh so heavenly.

I feel the bed dip as he climbs on top of me. His breath is hard and heavy in my ear. He fucks me hard for his pleasure. When he is done, I am exhausted but he's not finished with me yet.

I am untied and told to turn over. He ties my hand and feet again and spanks me with every tool we have in our arsenal. I'm at the edge of subspace, ready to fall into oblivion when he pulls me back.

We're going to play a game. I call out a number and he spanks me with the implement assigned. Tonight he wants to leave his mark. I want that too.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The challenge

Clyde and I have always had a lot of sex. Early on in our marriage we did it multiple times a day. There has been a long standing record of 5 times in one day. Over the years this has become less frequent. I recently issued Clyde the challenge of beating our old record.

Let's just say he rose to the occasion and we had a lot of fun! It went a little something like this....

#1- I slip into bed at about 4 am after having some drinks with a girlfriend. I scoot up next to a sleeping Clyde and begin to snuggle and rub. In no time at all he is hard as a rock and ready for me. He climbed on top of me and started fucking me missionary before he turned me over and took me from behind. It was a great way to end an awesome day. And we had an audience of one watching us have sex but that's another post. So hot!

#2- The next morning, we were ready to go again. He bent me over the side of the bed and took me from behind again while I held my Hitachi. It was just a quickie but oh so good!

#3- Our flirtatious wrestling match gets a little to real as I am hooded and held down for a rough and visious fuck. He was a very naughty boy whispering filthy things in my ear when I can't see or move. It was heavenly!

#4- After all the sexing, I was in need of a shower. As the hot water washes over my body and I relax, the door opens. Clyde takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed where he has a towel laid out. I am dripping wet and feel him spread some lube on my backside. He enters me anally, very slowly. He alternates between smacking my ass and thrusting forcefully into me. It was glorious!

#5- The day is coming to a close and there's one thing missing. Clyde decided i need a good spanking. His belt is removed while I assume the position. I'm not sure how many times he strikes me but it is just pure perfection. He gave me a nice warmup and I visited the edges of subspace. I was so wet and turned on that he just had to get a taste for himself.

#6- We lie in bed at the end of the day. I am deliciously sore and slightly bruised but completely sated. Since we were looking to break our previous record, we had time for one more romp. At this point I am swollen and sensitive so I opt to give him one hell of a blowjob to say my thanks. Somehow he had a nice big load waiting to be swallowed.

It was the best day!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Bonnie Gets Spanked Turns 1

I'm proud to say that one year ago (and one month, because I'm a procrastinator) I wrote my first post!
What a year it has been.
Clyde and I have grown and changed and done things that I would have never imagined just a few years ago.
This journey has brought a new life to our relationship and brought us closer than ever before.

I have met and gotten to know some of the most wonderfully interesting and unique people here with what seems to be one common goal, to better ourselves and our relationships.
I have also had the privilege of making some great friends. (You know who you are) I am forever changed because of this blogging community.

I cant say thank you enough to those of you that have read, commented, lurked, emailed and helped to make this blog a success!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

My year in numbers:
90 posts (published)
80,000 pageviews

Cheers my friends! Here's to many more! 

ps. Stick around. I've got some great stories coming your way!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Orgasmic meditation

Anyone ever heard of this?

I always love to see or learn about something new. This is something I stumbled across while on YouTube.

Orgasmic meditation.

What is Orgasmic Meditation?

Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice in which one partner gently strokes the other partner’s clitoris for 15 minutes.
OM consists of a defined sequences of steps, and is a goalless practice – the only job for both partners is to feel.
It’s deliberate and structured with repeatable results. It’s a meditation, equally powerful for both partners – only the object of focus is the clitoris.
Practitioners experience benefits similar to other mindfulness practices such as sitting meditation, as well as the well-known health benefits associated with orgasm.
It’s profound, yet simple and you can have it whether you are single or coupled.

It certainly looks interesting and I want to try! I just had to share!

There's a 10 minute video about OMing that you can watch here.

Sunday, May 4, 2014


Clyde has been away for the weekend and won't be home until late tonight. So as I sit here watching This is 40 and eagerly anticipating clydes return,  I thought I would share a little exchange between us on his long drive home.

Our conversation went like this......

I need to be fucked

When I get home, I'm going to beat you and fuck you so hard.

I look forward to it Sir

*Clyde sends pic of his hard on*

Oh my...... I want to put that in my mouth

Is your mouth watering?

MMMMM yes, so is my kitty

Go put your plug in

Yes Sir

Send me  a picture of the plug and kitty

*Plug inserted and picture sent*

She better be shaved smooth when I get home

Yes Sir. Will you buy me a pretty plug with a jewel or tail for when I have to send you pictures please?

Yes Kitty, I will

*an hour later*

You may take it out now

Thank you Sir

You're welcome. Now I want to see your bald pussy peeking out of the red slut dress.

Grrrr..... Yes Sir (I hate that red dress)

*picture sent*

Now a full view

*picture sent*

I cant wait to get home!

Only one more hour to go.

Monday, April 28, 2014

I've been nominated

A big thank you goes out to Sarah at Clear as mud for nominating me for the Leibster Award. It is an award to encourage new-ish bloggers with under 1,000 followers. (Yep, that's me.)

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.

2. Display the award on your blog-- by including it in your post and / or displaying it using a "widget" or "gadget".

3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.

5. Nominate 5 to 11 blogs you feel deserve this award, who have less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display the widget that lets readers know this information.

6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.

7. List these rules on your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to :

8. Inform people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it!)

Sarah had some interesting questions for me.

 What is your idea of a perfect way to spend the day? Money is no object.  My perfect day would have to be spent on a beach. I'm thinking of a lounge chair covered with an umbrella, a cold alcoholic beverage and a good book with Clyde by my side as the kids play in the sand. Perfection!

2. Favorite spanking implement? Definitely our ping pong paddle with the flogger in a close second.

3. Favorite spanking position? Any position as long as im getting spanked.....Otk but it doesn't happen often enough.

4Favorite vacation spot?  Destin, FL  I have so many great memories there.

5. Favorite type of food? I love chicken fajitas.

6. What do you snack on?  Wine, (That counts right?!)

7. First place you had sex? In my bed at my parents house.

8. Kinkiest/strangest/coolest place you had sex? There's too many to choose just one.  On the beach, cornfields, in a pool, an amusement park, in the woods, secluded island at the lake, the middle of a dark street... the list goes on. We are quite adventurous.

9. Beach or Mountains? Beach. The mountains are beautiful but definitely beach.

10. What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?  I'm barefoot.

11. Person or persons, blogger or not, dead or alive, you admire most? My Mom. She's just a great person who has taught me so much.

And of course, then I had to come up with 11 random facts about myself so here goes...

1. I lived in Hawaii as a kid and don't remember any of it. Dammit!

2. I hate to have my belly button touched. My children and Clyde know this so it has become their worst form of torture for me.

3. I love to watch movies but rarely watch TV.

4. I'm always reading something but don't like to read more than one book at a time. I also can't quit a book once Ive started, no matter how bad it is.

5. I'm not religious.

6. I've never broken a bone.

7.  My toes are painted a pretty turquoise color right now but that will soon change.

8.  I wish I had more friends but I have a hard time trusting women.

9. My parents have been married for 38 years and still going strong. They are the perfect role models for a great marriage.

10. I love all animals but I am not a cat person.

11. One day I hope to be that crazy old lady who says exactly what's on my mind.

So now that I have been nominated, I get the privilege of passing this along and nominating some of my favorite bloggers.  I really do enjoy reading all the blogs that I follow and I had a hard time choosing. There are so many bloggers that I would love to nominate but I am limited.

1. Little Girl at Master's Submissive Little Girl
2. Fiona at Sir Q and Me
3. Lil s at Big D lil s Life
4. His Slut at Thoughts from his slut
5. Del Fonte at A Place of Fancies

6. Scarlet at Scarlet's Submission

Here are my questions for them to answer.

1. What's your favorite TV show?
2. Do you like to travel and what's your favorite place to visit?
3. Name your favorite alcoholic beverage.
4. What is your biggest pet peeve?
5.  Do you have any hobbies?
6.  Have you ever used any non sexual items for a sexual purpose?
7. What's your favorite kink?
8. Have you met any other bloggers in person? Who?
9. Do you have a guilty pleasure?
10. Where is the strangest/kinkiest/most awesome place you've had sex?
11. What do you wear to bed?

I hope that you all enjoy this.

Thanks again Sarah!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

What was I frustrated about?

Its been a crazy morning. The kids are out of school and they have friends over. My house is a mess. I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off just trying to keep up with it all. My emotions are getting the best of me and reaching a boiling point.

Clyde walks in for lunch and sees the frustration written all over my face. He gives me a sympathetic smile and lifts his foot. Its a silent order to take his shoes off. I kneel in front of him and do just that, then return to the dishes.

He asks how my day is going and I'm off. He sits and listens patiently while I vent all my frustrations. When I've finished my bitching, he leaves the room and I hear him tell the kids in a very strict, you better do as I say tone, that they must clean up. When he returns, I'm told to follow him.

The water is turned off the dishes abandoned. They can wait. I see the look in his eye and I know my day is about to get a whole lot better.

I follow quietly behind him to the living room in the back of the house, far away from any little ears. He stands back and allows me to enter before him as he turns and locks the door behind us. I see the paddle in his hand and my heart skips a beat as a mischievous smile spreads across his face.

Clyde takes my hand and leads me over to the chair. I assume the position and wait for that first strike.

Starting off slowly, he paddles over my clothing as I moan and squirm a bit. The slow burn begins and my bottoms are pulled down but not off. With my panties bunched around my thighs, he increases the intensity of the spanks. I squirm and moan and I can no longer hold my position. My ass is on FIRE!

I hear the shuffling of clothing and the tell tale sign of a zipper being pulled down. I have to restist the temptation look behind me as he slowly sinks into me.

When we are finished, he looks me in my eyes and asks, "Feel better?"

"Oh yes, I'm feeling much better now"

I have a permanent smile on my face for the rest of the day. This is why I love him!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Trying again

Clyde and I have hit a road block. I'm still not exactly sure when it happened or why but our dynamic changed. I suppose you could say, life has gotten in the way.

We have discovered that a lot of what we wanted to implement into our daily life was just not possible while raising a family. It certainly isn't easy to redefine our relationship after many, many years together.  So we kind of took a break from D/s. It wasn't a mutual decision, he just stopped, which left me feeling very confused. I still remained submissive in my actions but I no longer felt it in my heart. We went back to just being our normal, vanilla selves with some hot and satisfying sex thrown in for good measure.

The loss of our dynamic was hard for me to deal with. Of course, I was still getting spanked from time to time, but vanilla had crept into our life in a big way. I  still wanted more from him but as time has gone on, I've done a lot of thinking.

Maybe I pushed him too hard too fast. He told me that he started to feel as though I didn't like him for who he was and tried too hard change him instead of accepting him as he is.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I love him completely and unconditionally. I have for nearly my entire life. Clyde is a great husband and he never leaves any doubt in my mind about what he feels for me. He may not always say the words I want to hear but its always there, in his actions. He takes very good care of our family and I'm a lucky woman to have such a good man.

When we started spanking 2 years ago, it came really easily for us and we both found something that fulfilled a need within ourselves. My submission went hand in hand with becoming a spanked wife. It felt very natural for me but I felt I had to put in a lot of effort to bring out his dominant side when I should have let him find it on his own.

I had an idea in my head about what a dominant should be like and I tried to make him into that. Looking back now, I may not have always done that in a positive way.  I wanted him to lead and I wanted him to be in control but I never truly let him have the reins.

I see now how that must have been very confusing for him. I had spent years trying to defy his control and possession. I had been told all my life how unhealthy it was in a relationship. I felt it made me look weak to allow him so much power.When I discovered ttwd and read real life stories here in the land of blogs, I was instantly inspired and those walls came down.   After doing a lot of research into D/s, I felt he was a natural Dom and would take to it easily.  

Of course, some aspects he did but others he struggled with. I didn't allow him time to really find his footing naturally. We talked a lot in the beginning about what we (I) wanted from this. Bless him, he was along for the ride.

Somewhere along the way we became comfortable in ttwd but I still wanted more. Instead of savoring what we had accomplished together, I pushed. We had fallen in love with each other in a whole new way. The spark was back, the passion is back and we communicate better than we ever have before. So,why did I have to push?

Well I guess it all comes back to the image I had in my head. That, along with comparing our relations to those I read about was detrimental to our dynamic.

So after taking a step back and reexamining ttwd, we have come to the conclusion that it has become a very important part of us. He misses it just as much as I do. He likes how cherished my submission has made him feel and he certainly doesn't want to loose that and neither do I. We are too invested in this way of life for us to go back to where we were. It has been very eye opening for both of us. I'm even to the point now that I'm very grateful that he pulled back because it allowed me to see the error of my ways.

I have let go of the Dom in my head and learned to just be more in the moment and content with what we have. I realize he can't lead if I'm telling him which way to go.

Very slowly D/s is creeping back into our lives. We are taking baby steps to assure  that we are both getting what we need from this thing we do.

It feels like a new beginning, a second chance, and that is very exciting. My Mater has begun to reemerge and I have vowed not to force our path but allow him to steer us around the roadblock and take us in the direction we need to go.

Monday, April 7, 2014

A little playtime

We had been planning this night all week and for the first time in forever, we had the house to ourselves. Clyde made sure it was unforgettable.

He sent me into the other room to put on my corset and prepare myself. When I was done dressing, I walked into the room and saw his creation. He had screwed two eye bolts into the exposed ceiling beam in the center of the room. From the bolts were two straps with wrists cuffs attached and hanging at just the right height.

He guided me over and strapped in one wrist, then the other. He nudged my legs further apart. When he was satisfied with my position, he pulled the blindfold out of his pocket and placed it over my eyes. Everything went dark. The only sound was my erratic breathing and the click of a camera as he snapped a few photos.

Smack, smack! He's there paddling, paddling my ass and thighs as I squirm and wimper. He circles me trailing little licks across my chest and kissing that special spot on the back of my neck. I'm so aroused, I want more contact, I wimper and moan. He changes implements and paddles some more. He teases me with light kisses that end too soon.

A pattern forms. Paddle, paddle, paddle, circle, kiss, paddle, paddle, paddle, circle, kiss. Im writhing with it, my ass is on fire.

My corset is unbuckled and it falls to the floor. He places clothes pins on my nipples and around my breasts as I focus on my breathing, trying to process the pain. Its only just bearable and oh so heavenly.

His finger slips through my folds and I'm soaked, embarrassingly soaked. He plugs my bottom hole and inserts king Kong in my pussy and fucks. Hard. I'm so full, building, building, crash. I come loudly. My whole body shaking and convulsing. I hear his amused chuckle at the show I have just provided him with.

The plug and dildo are removed while I come down from my high. He removes the clothes pins one by one and oh, the pain when they are removed is intoxicating as he caresses and suckles.  He drags my hips back and eases in to my ass. It starts slowly and builds with intensity, setting a punishing rhythm. I grab onto the straps with my tingling hands and hold on for dear life as he pounds into me. Holding onto my hips, he pulls at me with each thrust. One last hard push and he stills, holding me in place as we both reach climax together.

"I'm not done with you yet."

He has the flogger and he rains down strikes as he circles me. I feel him nudge my feet further apart so he has access to my pussy and he uses the flogger on my kitty over and over he strikes. I'm on the tip of my toes and if it weren't for my hands being bound above me, I would have fallen over. When I think I can take no more, he changes position and begins to circle, striking as he goes.

I hang my head, I am spent. Nothing left to give.

He reaches up and releases my hands but I'm gripping the straps so tight, he has to peel my hands away. I'm shaking, I'm cold. The blindfold is removed and I blink in the blinding light. He wraps me in a warm, fuzzy blanket and hands me a bottle of water.

We sink to the floor as he holds me tight and tells me I am his "good girl".

Friday, April 4, 2014

A close encounter

I'm standing in the kitchen cooking dinner when clyde comes in from work. He stops and takes in my appearance. A smile creeps across his face and he comes close to wrap his arms around me. He whispers in my ear and begins to lift my dress. As the fabric skims across my thighs up to my belly, a shiver runs through me. He kisses my neck and begins to fondle my bottom. He makes a grunt of disapproval and I know its because I'm wearing panties.

Suddenly, I hear a rip, then another as my panties fall to the floor. I look down and see a knife in his hand. The look on his face is my undoing and I feel wetness seep into my folds and trickle my thighs.

He smiles at me and walks away to let me finish my task.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Cocks in socks

Men are putting their penises in socks on instagram for cancer awareness and its so, so good. 

I'm not sure what this has to do with cancer but its certainly got my attention and who am I to argue.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Caught again

Let me set the scene:

Its the middle of the afternoon. I'm home alone, bored and horny.

What's a girl to do in those circumstances?

That's right, I did what most of y'all would have done. I took care of myself.

I'm lying on the bed playing with myself when Clyde walks in, completely unexpected. The look on his face was  priceless when he saw what I was doing but I knew I was in trouble.

He quickly took the rabbit from me and gave me a harshly spoken warning that there would be a punishment.

I remained quiet. What could I say? I knew I had broken this rule, repeatedly, and gotten caught, repeatedly.

Clyde walks into the bathroom to wash the rabbit. When he returned I saw him put it in his pocket. He was angry. He picked up the belt and mumbled something about a spanking not being a punishment for me but I could tell he really wanted to spank me.

So I looked him right in his eyes and in my softest, most innocent voice said "You know you can spank me anytime you want. You don't need a reason."

So I bent over the bed and wiggled my bottom at him. I heard the jingle of the belt and prepared myself for what was to come. He gave me roughly two dozen quick but very hard lashings.

When I turned to looked at him again, all the anger had disappeared from his face. He kissed me on my forehead and turned to leave. With the rabbit still in his pocket. Dammit!

Don't feel too bad for me, I managed to get in two orgasms before I was interrupted.

I feel terrible.

I'm sorry Master. I'll do better

Friday, March 14, 2014

It started off great....

Pick your implement
Go to the room
Wait for me on your knees
Do not speak.

These are text messages I received from Clyde (in the other room) tonight. This is what I had been waiting for. I hurriedly put the kids to bed and went in search of my weapon of ass destruction. I chose the flogger and the ping pong paddle.

I went into the room, closed the curtains, dimmed the lights, stripped, got in position and waited.

It wasn't long before he entered the room. I bowed my head and held the implements out for him. He circled me, dragging the flogger across my skin.

He flogged and paddled until my skin had a lovely sting and a nice rosy glow.

He was in complete control. It was amazing and exactly what I needed.

From there things get a little hazy.

When he was done, he took my hand and helped me up. I immediately got a very bad headache (almost migraine status) and had to lie back down. I got very cold and began shaking uncontrollably. I felt very thirsty and very weak.

Clyde was great. He took very good care of me, getting some water and pain reliever and holding me until I felt better. It took about an hour or so for my body to return to normal.

I just don't understand it. I felt fine before hand and feel fine now, but what was that?

I'm wondering, could it be subdrop? From everything I have read, subdrop seems to be more emotional and this was purely a physical reaction.

We have had much more intense play with no side effects in the past so I'm hoping that y'all can share some insight with me.

Anyone have an explanation?

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

What they don't see

They might see us standing in a corner of a crowded room.

They might see us laugh and touch like a couple in love.

They might see him lean in and whisper in my ear.

They might see him tug on my hair in a possessive manner.

They might see the swat on my bottom as I walk away.

They might see the stern look he has just given me.

They might see a lot, but there so much more they don't see.

They don't see that he's fondling my ass while we stand here and have a conversation.

They don't see that I'm laughing because the filthy things he's saying to me are making me giddy with embarrassment.

They don't see the way his whispered word makes me tremble with anticipation.

They don't see how wet that tug on the hair makes me.

They don't see how bruised and tender my bottom is from an earlier playtime.

They don't see how that stern look has got my heart pounding just thinking about a punishment later.

They don't see how all these little gestures add up to me ripping his clothes off as soon as we leave.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Questions: Answered

It is March and that means its question month here in blogland. I promised to answer any questions asked and I've received some good ones.

Missy asked: How did you come across this dynamic? How did you bring it to your hubby?

Great question and one I don't believe I have talked about here. I suppose for me it started a few years ago. At that time, I was a complete prude and didn't want sex but there was something missing in our relationship. You could say I was bored. Like most women here, I love to read and began reading erotica. It was the jolt I needed. I started doing research and came across this wonderful community. Once I started to read the  real life stories about ttwd, I was hooked and knew I had found what we needed. Our sex life immediately improved. After a few months, I asked clyde to spank me. I didn't really bring this lifestyle to him per se. I just started living it and became submissive to him. That, in turn, brought out his dominance.

Kenzie asked: Do you have a fantasy that you haven't tried yet but want to?

Yes, we would love to bring in another woman. Perferrably one who is submissive and has the same tastes as us.

Kenzie also asked: What is the biggest change you have noticed in Clyde and yourself since starting ttwd?

I would have to say that starting ttwd has changed both of us in many ways but the most noticible change is in our communication. We have not always been good at discussing things and we kept a lot inside. Not anymore. We talk about everything. Nothing is off limits.

This is fun and I have enjoyed reading all the question and answers from everyone participating. If there anything else y'all would like to know about either of us, please don't be shy, ask away.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Where we are

Diane had requested that I write about how things are going within our dynamic. Thank you Diane.

 Well thats kind of a loaded topic at the moment. Some of you may remember back in January when clyde presented me with a contract to be my Master. I agreed to give it a 3 month trial period and then reevaluate. We're nearing the end of our agreement and I assume a very serious discussion is in our near future.

Where are we?

Well things are good. We play a lot. The drive by has become a regular occurrence. We've added some new toys to our box. One of them is the much anticipated butt plug. (Love it) He's become very creative with his seductive games. Bottom line, we are having fun and really good sex.

But of course like every relationship we have bad days. There's not much consistency and it leaves me wondering what is really important to him. (Not a good place to be)  I have become a little more defiant than usual. He's not sure how to handle that just yet. (He doesn't like punishment but he likes for me to obey.)

I'm wondering if I'm cut out to be a slave. Maybe that's not for me. I am realizing that I have power in this relationship. A lot. And I like it. I don't want to give that up. Not completely.

I know that I am submissive. I love submitting to my husband. Nothing turns me on more than seeing him in control. He just does it for me. But at the same time, I don't want to push him to be someone he's not. I'm trying my best to let him lead and find HIS way with this.

At this point I'm really happy with the way things are going. He still spanks me. We still have hot and kinky sex. But most of all, we have that reconnection back.

So that's where we are. Still chugging along raising a family, attending school functions, and playing kinky games behind closed doors.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

In a writing funk

I haven't really felt much like writing lately. But I have missed blogland so I thought I stop by and give a little update.

Things have been really good here in my little corner of the world. We've had some great weather lately and we took full advantage.

Clyde and I have been having a lot of fun with our dynamic. I was getting confused as to what we were because I don't really feel like we fit into any one label completely. Sometimes I felt like maybe we were doing it wrong. But now I know differently. We are who we are. We are experimenting with different things to see what works for us. And do you know what?

Were closer than ever, we laugh more than ever, we touch more than ever, we trust more than ever.

We are in a really good place.

Life moves on. We have busy days that end with us falling in bed to sleep. But everyday seems easier because we face it together.

As I've been told, March is questions month here in blogland. So I invite you to ask me anything. What would you like to know? I promise to treat every question with respect and answer them all. You can send me an email at or you can leave it in the comments.  So, ask away.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The drive by

Clyde calls me and starts a normal conversation. You know, how was your morning , blah, blah. Then he gets that serious tone of voice and tells me to,


I'm giggling, "What, like right now?"

"Yes, go into the living room and strip."

Oh hes serious. I do as I'm told,

"Now what?"

"Go to the window and press your body to it."

I argue with him about it for a moment with no such luck.

So I sneak over to the window and hide behind the curtains. But then I see him. I see Clyde's truck creeping down the street at a slow pace.

When he gets in front of our house I step out and press my body to the big, cold window and watch as he slowly drives by with a big smile on his face.

As I watch the back of his truck pulling away, I tell  him,

"That was fun, can I put my clothes back on now?"

"Yes, you may. I'll see you in a few hours for lunch."

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Its never good when the police get involved

We had just dropped our youngest daughter off at a friends house for a sleepover. As we drove away alone, Clyde got that glint in his eye and drove to a new part of the development. You know where there are half finished houses and no people.

Clyde and I love to be naughty in public however, we try not to get caught. He parked on a dark street and told me to suck his cock.

I took one more look at our surroundings before ducking down and servicing my man. It was just getting good. He had his head thrown back , clearly enjoying himself, and my head bobbed up and down on his shaft.

Suddenly, the truck was filled with a bright.
 light. Clyde let's go of my head and I jump up only to come face to face with a police officer.

Oh shit!

But then I notice a small smile on his face. I look right at him and wipe my mouth with a grin and a red face.

He looks at clyde then back to me a few times.

"Can I see you liscences please?"

We both hand them over to the officer and as he looks them over, he says,

"Are y'all married?"

"Yes Sir."  I say

Hes really smiling now. He knows and we know . But he doesn't really call us out on it. He just warns us about parking there, tips his hat and tells us to have a good night. And he walks away knowing what he just interrupted.

I could have died!!!

I'm too old for this shit....... But I'm sure it won't be the last time.

About us ^^

I finally got around to updating my "About us" page. I tried several times but the words just wouldn't come.

I mean, how do you squeeze 20 years of history with some one, on one page?

I think I have managed to capture a peek into our dynamic.

So, for any new readers or anyone who might want to know a little more about us, I invite you to check out the page.

Thanks for visiting my blog.  :-)

Friday, February 7, 2014

Bull wrestling

Clyde comes home for lunch everyday. Sometimes sex happens, sometimes not. But today, oh today was too good not to share. We have learned to make the most of our time at home without kids.

I sat next to him on the couch, naked and he placed a pillow across his lap and patted. I eagerly draped myself across his lap. He began by fondling by bottom and tracing the curves. It tickled and I giggled a little. He spoke about how much he loves my ass.

The first smack took me by surprise because he got me right along the middle, hitting the tender flesh between the cheeks. I yelled out. He must have liked the sounds I was making because he kept aiming for the same spot over and over. I wriggled about as he kept spanking, he threw his leg over mine to hold me in place.

Spank, spank, spank he kept on.

My thighs, right cheek, left cheek, middle. A pattern was formed.

He was holding nothing back.

My ass is on fire and I'm breathing hard as he spanks away.

Suddenly I'm looking at the floor on my hands and knees. I hear him move behind me, then I feel him...... there.

He takes me hard. Pounding with every thrust.

"Chest down"

I comply and push back with all my might just trying to stay in place.

He pounds away and when we are done, my entire body feels like jelly.

I turn to him and say "Gosh, that felt like wrestling a bull."

We had a good laugh, cleaned up and off to work he went.

I couldn't help but smile as he left, knowing I had just been used and I loved it.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

A rant

"Are you the Master?"

"Maybe, but sometimes you make me wonder if this is what you want."

*me rolling my eyes and giving a big sigh*

"Are you the Master or not?"


"Then nip this shit in the bud and put me in my place."

"Quit acting like that!"

"Try again!"

*me sighing and walking away*

Let me back up.

First let me say that I may or may not be fairly tipsy.

The day started off great. I woke up this morning and told him I feel frisky. To which he responded by diving between my legs and licking me to a great orgasm.

No complaints about that.

Which led to him demanding that I get over here and suck his cock.

No complaints about that.

A few hours later..... He loved me in my yoga pants and took the belt to my ass and fucked me from behind for his pleasure.

No complaints there.

A few hours after that..... He dragged me to the bedroom by my pony tail and had his way with me again. For his pleasure.

Now by this point I'm worked up about not having a release. Some words were said and here I am...... Frustrated and alone. And maybe sulking and drinking some wine.

So again I say..... Are you the Master?.....

Then put me in my place!

*this post will probably never see the light of day but I feel better for having written it!*

Oh whoops I hit publish.... Time for some more wine.....

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

No granny panties

Clyde has decided he doesn't like "granny panties". Now for the record, I don't wear granny panties.

The offending panties are really just string bikinis. I like them and they are my preferred type. They're comfortable, cotton and come in various pretty prints.

Maybe to some, those could be considered granny-ish. Not to me.

Lately, anytime I wear them, he takes a pair of scissors and cuts them right off my body. Which would be fine if he would swap them with suitable replacements. But he's not.

I'm running out of panties.

Luckily he hasn't cut up my lace string bikinis from VS. Apparently THOSE are acceptable.

I think its time to go shopping!

What are your favorite type to wear?

Just for fun, while searching for pics of string bikinis I found this.  Made me smile, enjoy!

Thursday, January 23, 2014


I broke a rule yesterday. I confessed and truthfully, he wouldn't have known if I hadn't.

He was not pleased.

After dinner with the kids and everyone had gone to bed, he asked if I was ready for my punishment.

I'm thinking he's going to spank me and you all know how much I love that. And so does he.

I asked what my punishment was.

He got a wicked gleam in his eye and told me to "strip."

When all my clothes are removed and I'm standing naked before him, I'm told to go stand in the corner.

I walk over and stand facing him hoping this will pacify him and I won't have to face the wall.

He gives me that look and twirls his finger. A silent sign for me to turn.

I turn and face the corner feeling like a scolded child. I'm so embarrassed standing here naked in a corner.

He's lying on the bed behind me and every so often I hear the channel on the TV change.

I look over my shoulder at him and I get another finger twirl.

Grrr...... its so frustrating but the longer I stand there, the more guilty I feel for deliberatly breaking that rule.

The timer finally goes off and I turn to him. He has a smile on his face and his arms open wide. "Now come here and give me some love."

I go to him and snuggle up and enjoy having his arms wrapped around me. He kisses the top of my head and brushes the hair from my face.

It feels so good to be in his arms. We kiss and cuddle and our hands start to roam.

Things become heated and passionate. He slips out from under me and pins me down from behind. He kisses his way down from my neck to my ass and back again.

He reaches over to grab some lube. It becomes clear what he has in mind as I feel some drops of coldness hit my crack and its massaged.

It feels so good as he slowly eases himself inside me. With him holding my arms above my head and his body pinning me down, I'm immobile. All I can do is grind my hips against his. He's in complete control.

We come together and as we lie there catching our breaths he tells me I'm "forgiven."

Monday, January 20, 2014

My new project

We have a very under used room in our house. Its a small room (12x12) that we mostly use for storage. This room is connected to the garage and away from any bedrooms. There's no windows and its completely secluded.

Can you guess where I'm going with this?

My Master has requested that I turn this room into our playroom and He has given me a decent budget to get started with.

I'm so excited about this. I'm picturing dark red walls with dim lighting, a nice soft rug in the center. A bed of course. A chair that would be perfect for use with bondage, racks on the wall for implements, shelving for toys and other useful items, candles and a music player. I would love to put a spanking bench or St. Andrews cross in there but I really need to see how much room there will be.

His only request was a sex swing hanging from the ceiling.

This room will be padlocked to keep prying eyes out and totally private.

We have never had a playroom before so I'm sure there are things I haven't even thought about. Any suggestions for me to consider?

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Just under the surface

As I sit here and stare at a blank page, I realize, I have nothing to write about.

Not much going on here lately on the ttwd front. Or maybe there is just under the surface......

I had my wisdom teeth pulled a couple days ago, another thing Clyde has requested I do, as my Master. It needed to be done and I was putting it off as long as I could. He gave me the courage to go through with it.

He has been great to me. He took time off work to be there for me. He has made meals and taken care of the kids while I was heavily medicated and resting in bed. He even spoon fed me when nesecarry. He has done everything in his power to make sure I am comfortable.

Through it all, I feel his dominance. Its in the way he cherishes and loves me and his quiet commands for me to take it easy. Its there just under the surface.

I'm ready for the kid gloves to come off. I am on day 5 and feeling much better. The kids will be at the grands tonight. So........

Fingers crossed for some action!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

All's well that ends well

As I follow Clyde through the store I'm sure they know. I can feel their eyes following me. I can't look at them, if I make eye contact, they will know for sure. My tits bounce with each step I take. I've never gone in public without a bra and panties and it feels wrong. Clyde finds the dressing room and hands me several things to try on. I step inside and begin to undress. As the clothes come off and I become ftraware of just how naked I am, I look around for cameras but see none. Very quickly I slip the first dress on and step out to show him.

He likes the red dress with the black heels. The one with the least material and the one I hated the most. We make our purchases and leave hastily. He's on a mission with no time to waste. 

As we drive on to the next store, he decides its time to play dress up. He tells me to put the red dress on. I scrunch my face up in disgust but I know it doesn't matter, it must be done. I'm so glad its dark and our windows are tinted because I strip down and follow through with his request. He sees how uncomfortable I am and allows me to wear my jeans.

We are greeted by a very nice salesgirl as we enter the fourth store. When she leaves us on our own, I know. I'm sure she's thinking "what a slut." The dress is backless and the front is so low cut I have to continually pull the material together to keep the girls in. I'm so nervous and uncomfortable I begin to chew on my nails as I walk behind him. My jovial mood of earlier takes a nose dive as he tells me of his plan. He wants to dress me up in the skimpiest, sluttiest outfit he can find and take me to somewhere for drinks. Not just anywhere but a strip club. The panic sets in.

Now, I have been to a strip club before and had a great time but this..... dressed like this, is way out of my comfort zone. My limits are being tested. I begin to argue with myself. I know I'm supposed to give up control but I don't think I can go through with this. While we browse through the racks, I become quiet and withdrawn. He takes my hand and powers on. Mission still incomplete. 

About the time we reach the 10th store I have reached my breaking point. My fingernails have been chewed off and I'm breaking out in a nervous sweat. I think I might throw up. 

We find one more complete outfit. This one I like. I'm covered and confident and my mood improves when we leave the store. I know its closing time. Its over.

But Master is not pleased. My attitude from earlier has ruined our shopping adventure. Some harsh word were said and I begin to cry. The look on his face said it all. He knew he had pushed to far. He held me as we talked it out.

When it was all said and done, we both had some hard learned lessons about our roles. He learned to consider my feelings more and I learned that giving up that control is not as easy as I thought. We knew this wouldnt be easy. This is new to both of us but we are committed to our new dynamic and to each other. We will find our way on this path and we will do it together.

In the end his plan was derailed. We decided instead that we needed to relax in a familiar environment. We visited our favorite local bar that is like a second home. I wore a new dress that we both liked and danced the night away with friends. I even made a new friend. 

Her name was Jennifer and she was beautiful. We hit it off immediately. She complimented me on my dress and she was a great kisser. I'll leave it at that. ;-)

The dress that I was told to wear that night... with no panties

Friday, January 10, 2014

Its just so good

It's late and as Clyde sleeps next to me, I'm wide awake because I've just had some of the best sex of my life! Seriously, my legs are still shaking as I come down from this high. It's all kind of fuzzy but I know there was a crop, some begging and face fucking involved. These are a few of my favorite things!

Omg What a difference I have seen in him since he introduced the contract. A lot has changed and I can only hope its here to stay.

So much has happened that I feel a little overwhelmed and need to get it out so I can begin to process.

Clyde has taken control in every way. He now has control of every orgasm, meaning no petting the kitty whenever I want. I am to ask permission to come. (which let's face it, its pretty fuckin hott) His goal with that is to train me to come on command. And tonight it happened for the first time ever. I'm being realistic in knowing it won't always happen that easy, but tonight? Tonight I came like a freight train because he told me to and I was rewarded with a"good girl" and a very big smile. It was a great feeling knowing he was so pleased with me.

There are some new rules that are going to take some getting used to. It was his desire for me to sleep in the nude every night just in case he wakes and feels the need to use what's his. (For all you mommies out there wondering.... I keep a robe next to my bed that can be thrown on at a moments notice should the kiddos need me.) Also, anytime the girls are not home, you guessed it, naked!

Aside from the sexual part, he has stepped up in a major way. He has taken my health into his hands and I am to visit the Dr. for a checkup. I haven't been in probably 10 years (my choice, if it ain't broke, don't fix it) and that was one of the first "orders" I was given. I have a tendency to put everything I have into him and my girls that I often neglect myself. He has decided this weekend he is giving me a makeover. I will have my hair done the way he likes and he will take me shopping to pick out some new clothes that he would like me to wear. The words "sex doll" were thrown around and I'm excited to see where that goes. (Wish me luck because I think I'm going to need it.)

He has had some very interesting tasks that he will text me with throughout the day to keep me in the right mindset and remind me of my role. With the contract in place, we both have a very clear list of our expectations of each other which has taken all the guesswork out. There is a lot more that we have discussed that just hasn't come to fruition yet so I'll leave that for another time.

It may not work for everyone and it may not even work for us. We have decided to give it a 3 month trial period and then reevaluate. But for now, I truly couldn't be happier with the direction things are going. Maybe being a slave to my Master won't be so bad!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Big Changes are happening

I haven't been around blogland much lately. I guess you could say I lost my inspiration. Things had gotten pretty vanilla between clyde and I and thats not very fun to write or read about. I felt like things on the D/s front had reached a plateau. We weren't having any playtime or very much sex. We weren't trying anything new, we were at a stand still. D/s was only in the bedroom sometimes and I wanted more.

I decided to talk to him about it. I told him that I, as the sub, could not continue to lead him. He can't keep taking his cues from me. That's not the way this is supposed to work. If he is not interested in learning more that what I have told him about how to be a Dom than we might as well forget this thing we do. I don't want him to just do this for me. If this is not what he truly wanted in our relationship then its pointless. We are not always the best at communicating but I did get my point across and it left some tension between us.

We really didn't talk much more about it and just went on with our daily vanilla life. I wasn't sure where that little discussion was going to take us but I was sure something was about to change one way or another. Over the next couple days I saw him on the internet reading and typing a lot. I was curious and when I asked he just said that I would find out soon enough.

Well yesterday I found out what he was up to. He presented me with a contract. He wants to own me, mind, body and soul. He wants to be my Master. He wants me to be his slave.

I was completely taken by surprise. I mean, here I was thinking submission was over for us and he wants to take it further than I ever imagined he would. Whatever he read over the weekend must have made something click inside him. As we discussed the contract and him owning me, he had a raging hard on the whole time. I guess you could say I got the "more" I was asking for.

I have mixed feelings about this. One part of me loves what he has presented to me and you could imagine inside I was like an excited puppy, jumping up and down. The other part of me....... Doesn't know what to think of the title "Slave".

So that's where we are now. He has assured me he is serious about being my Master and all that entails. I'm not sure where this will take us. We are still working on our contract as there are things I want to add and change. If I'm brave enough, I will post it here when its final and signed by both of us.

Any advice for either of us would be appreciated as this is a big step for both of us. You can leave it in the comments or email at

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