I'm in a bit of a lull. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I haven't felt very submissive lately and I haven't felt Clyde's dominance either. I have been grouchy and at times very snippy.
He has been working his ass off in this summer heat. I have always appreciated how hard he works. He's always hustlin. He has the ability to make money out of thin air. I don't know how he does it but because of that, he has been really tired and not had much energy for playing. Of course I have received some spankings and good sex but it feels forced and I haven't been able to let go during the spankings. The release is not there.
I feel kind of lost right now. I mean, I love ttwd and I love the changes I see in our relationship but it feels like all that has disappeared. I have tried to remain submissive and feed his dominance but it feels like rejection when he is too tired.
I know I shouldn't complain. He will read this and wonder what else he has to do to make me happy. I know he tries to give me what I want and he does makes me happy.
I realize now that ttwd takes a lot of work from both sides. I worry if we don't get back on track it will all slip away and return to the way things were. I feel like he might want that because I was a lot less work for him. I just floated through the days feeling like there's got to be MORE while he was happy as a clam. Oblivious to it all.
I love ttwd, I just want him to love it as much as I do. Maybe I'm asking to much from him.
My hope is that things will return to normal again soon.
And because I don't want to end this on a sour note, I will tell y'all about some fun we had recently.
Last weekend Clyde and I went to a friends house for a party. We had a great time. It was a 70s party and everyone dressed up. I went as a hippie with my bell bottoms and tie die halter. Clyde was the hit of the party though. He and brother-in-law went as cheech and chong. They played off of each other well and kept everyone entertained the whole night. Clyde was Tommy Chong complete with a HUGE joint. lol We had so much fun dancing and drinking the night away.
When we got home, he left the beard and wig on and I got some strange :)