Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A lull and a party

I'm in a bit of a lull. I'm not sure what's going on with me. I haven't felt very submissive lately and I haven't felt Clyde's dominance either. I have been grouchy and at times very snippy.

He has been working his ass off in this summer heat. I have always appreciated how hard he works. He's always hustlin. He has the ability to make money out of thin air. I don't know how he does it but because of that, he has been really tired and not had much energy for playing. Of course I have received some spankings and good sex but it feels forced and I haven't been able to let go during the spankings. The release is not there.

I feel kind of lost right now. I mean, I love ttwd and I love the changes I see in our relationship but it feels like all that has disappeared. I have tried to remain submissive and feed his dominance but it feels like rejection when he is too tired.

I know I shouldn't complain. He will read this and wonder what else he has to do to make me happy. I know he tries to give me what I want and he does makes me happy.

I realize now that ttwd takes a lot of work from both sides. I worry if we don't get back on track it will all slip away and return to the way things were. I feel like he might want that because I was a lot less work for him. I just floated through the days feeling like there's got to be MORE while he was happy as a clam. Oblivious to it all.

I love ttwd, I just want him to love it as much as I do. Maybe I'm asking to much from him.

My hope is that things will return to normal again soon.

And because I don't want to end this on a sour note, I will tell y'all about some fun we had recently.

Last weekend Clyde and I went to a friends house for a party. We had a great time. It was a 70s party and everyone dressed up. I went as a hippie with my bell bottoms and tie die halter. Clyde was the hit of the party though. He and brother-in-law went as cheech and chong. They played off of each other well and kept everyone entertained the whole night. Clyde was Tommy Chong  complete with a HUGE joint. lol We had so much fun dancing and drinking the night away.

When we got home, he left the beard and wig on and I got some strange :)

6 comments:

  1. Too tired, too hot, too busy... the infamous barriers to connecting. We all get them from time to time. Sorry, don't have a solution either :(
    Hope you return to where you want to be soon.
    hugs
    DF

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  2. GOING THROUGH THE SAME OVER HERE!!! At least we know we aren't alone! Good luck!

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  3. Ladies, life is like an ocean full of ups and downs, sometimes you have to hang on to the board until you catch the next wave. Hang in there and you will surly catch the "big one"...love you Bonnie. :*

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  4. But also remember when you catch the big one and ride him all the way to shore...your gonna have to paddle against the tide to get back into position for the next one.

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  5. I know the feeling. Thanks Anon for the great analogy :)
    Bonnie, maybe you can plan a night for just the 2 of you. Greet him at the door and let him lay down and rest for 30 minutes or so. Then wake him up. Maybe you could have diner on a tray for him. Maybe your naked. Maybe both. Then let the fun begin ;)
    Hang in there. It'll get better :)

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  6. Ooh, I think this happens to all of us. I have come to believe that it's just a natural part of ttwd. Though that's always easier to say when one isn't in a lull...

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